Utsuho's adventure of disturbed minds
by FrankfurtKaiser
Summary: One 'average' day, as she attends her duty, Utsuho has a brick fall on her head. The impact changes her view about the world, making her go on an adventure where what little sense there was in Gensokyo gets thrown out of the window, all in the name of protecting the reactor core.
1. Someone dropped a brick

_This...is crackfic. Crazy fanfic. It isn't glamorous, or smart, or well written. It's the most demented type of fanfiction, and it could kill you. What's really bad is nobody knows how much it takes, so everytime you read one like this you risk having your brain explode. It isn't worth it._

 _Look, everyone wants to be cool, but doing it with crackfic isn't just wrong...it could be grammatically wrong._

* * *

Okuu was guarding the nuclear reactor core, like always. Nothing interesting used to happen, but she didn't mind, if nothing happened it meant no foreign substances invaded the reactor, and that was her main concern on her job.

But her little nuclear mind got suddenly messed up the one unlucky day when a purple brick fell on her head. Sure, it didn't harm her physically; her skull was thick and her skin durable, she was pretty much a solar godess of destruction, a tiny brick wouldn't be enough to harm her. But just as a tap in the head is enough for plenty of heroes to make them lose their memories, it was enough to make her lose her mind, just like back in the whole geyser incident with the souls; boy, wasn't that fun?

Her head hurt a little bit, and her brain...well, atleast she was using her brain.

''Uh, what happened? What was I doing?''Thought the raven out loud

She tried to recall her job, and quickly remembered some important bit: She had the duty of getting rid of any foreign substance in the generator, but something wasn't right

''Foreign substance detected, searching threat'' she exclaimed like a robot going through the motions.

She blasted the brick to kingdom come and flew away. In her mind now, all of Gensokyo was the generator, and she had to crush anything that could threaten it's existence, starting with whoever threw that brick. A bit radical and quite bonkers, but I guess she was justified, cause getting hit with a brick hurts like heck.

She had come out, she could smell the air...it smelled like air. But she wasn't trying to find interesting odors, she was set to find that blasted brick-thrower and get rid of her (Or him, but it was most likely a her), the only question was ''Where to look for the culprit?''

''The person who threw that foreign substance must be able to throw things, so he's got arms...that doesn't help much''

She was right, it didn't help much, in fact, the culprit could have used psychic powers instead of arms to throw that brick. Taking into account that it could almost be anyone in Gensokyo, she decided to go down and take a look at the forest below her, as she had seen a small girl there, and there was no way on earth she could talk to her or fight her while soaring the air like she was doing.

Upon reaching ground level, but not touching the earth with her feet, she got to see the girl more clearly. Her blueish green hair and tiny little antenae made it clear that she was an insect, and her cape looked a bit like a pair of insectoid wings, along with her were numerous bugs who made her company. She was Wriggle Nightbug, the not-very-important firefly; Utsuho had no idea who she was, of course.

''Who are you?'' Wriggle asked, somewhat shaken by the raven's sudden appearance.

''Possible threat detected, engaging target!''

Without letting poor Wriggle say a thing, Okuu shot a big laser from her control rod. The firefly girl barely dogded the laser beam before complaining.

''That's not nice! You come out of nowhere and start shooting at me and I'm the threat?''

Utsuho put down her control rod and started explaining ''Somebody has thrown a foreign substance into the reactor, risking its functionality. You don't look very trusty with all those bugs around you''

With that said, she went back to her fighting stance, shooting at the firefly with a blatant disregard for her surroundings. Wriggle gathered as many wasps as she could and hid between the trees to make her advesary lose sight, and while the bird was looking at her surroundings to find her, she released the swarm.

The wasps actually worked pretty well at pestering Utsuho, but before they could do serious harm to her, she used a spell card that made her burn with fury and a pillar of fire raise from the ground, taking care of all the pesky bugs. It wasn't all over for Wriggle though, and she took advantage of the situation to close in just as the spell card finished and strike her with a few projectiles, knocking her down.

But the bird got back up on her feet quickly and rushed towards Wriggle, ignoring the damage she took by the rest of bullets and kicking the firefly with her elephant's foot right in the stomach, she sent her flying backwards until she hit a tree. Not yet done for, Wriggle tried calling forth more insects to assist her in the fight, but the only ones who came to her help were a few fireflies, she certainly was in a bad situation.

''Wait, you're a firefly?'' Asked Okuu, having just come to such a realization.

''Of course I am, how does that matter?''

''Huh, I guess it couldn't be you.''

''What?''

''Your light is insignificant compared to the sun, there's no way you could do anything against the power of solar radiation'' Utsuho flied away, knocking Wriggle to the ground without even meaning to while taking off.

The firefly girl felt really offended by such comment, and furious about her species being looked down upon so much. Despite all her previous attempts at giving the bugs a good rep, they still were treated like garbage, and she couldn't really change things due to her lack of power.

''Why does everyone treats us this way, chasing us around, trying to kill us with their insecticide? Bugs shouldn't suffer like this, they'll all see. But, it's becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! ...I am small. I need someone big to help me out. I need...SpongeBob! Wait, that doesn't make any sense, who's SpongeBob?''

And she sat down to think, not to figure out who SpongeBob was and why that name came to her mind, but think about who could be willing and big enough to help her out.


	2. Allow me to break the ice

After some more aimless flying, Utsuho ended up in a cold lake, it was very cold!

Lucky for her, she didn't feel the low temperature due to her inner flames set ablaze, which was no doubt much hotter than the lake was cold.

''I've been looking for so long, but I can't find anyone who could be.''

An ice fairy, small but full of confidence, made her appearance.

''Find who?'' She was Cirno, the strongest ice fairy of the of the lake near the scarlet mansion.

''Found you!'' suddenly cawed Okuu (Well, she didn't caw, it's just a weird way of describing her talking because she's a raven) ''Possible threat detected. Engaging target''

''What?!''

''I'm gonna vaporize you!'' The raven explained as she shot a gigantic burning sphere from the eye on her chest.

''Agh, you won't vaporize me!'' Said Cirno while ascending to avoid it.

Her sudden visitor was strong, and familiar. It wasn't the time for remembering things, though, as she was pretty busy trying not to get beat up by some raving lunatic who kinda spoke like a robot. Seeing as she was below her, Cirno decided to create an ice ball as big as possible and let it fall down on her enemy's head.

Utsuho didn't expect that, and got it right on her face. It hurt, it was annoying and it sent her plummeting down to the lake, but she was able to break it to pieces with a quick laser and stop just a few inches away from the certainly not warm and pleasant water. Back to not having a big ball of ice on her face, she blasted up to reach the ice fairy.

After dodging that nasty laser, Cirno pulled out an ice shield to protect herself from the incoming impact. Her protection broke after one strike from the raven's control rod, but she used the ocassion to freeze that laser shooting thingymabob. It seemed to work, surprisingly.

''What's this?!'' Asked Utsuho, shocked by her main tool being covered in ice.

''Look's like you're helpless against my freezing powers. There's nothing I can't freeze!''

Cirno kept shooting ice bullets at her enemy for a while machinegun style, seemingly at an advantage. But soon Utsuho started glowing as she charged towards her enemy like a burning rocket, the ice in her rod starting to soften due to the energy building up. She crashed against her small target, followed by smashing her with the canon, making the ice break apart, and shooting a short burst of energy that made her go down and sink in the lake.

''Looks like I dealt with her. I must get back to work''

But she hadn't, oh no, she hadn't at all.

A big ice chunk came out of the water and hit her before she could react, and she went down while Cirno went up, just like that old man's house in Up (Mmh, maybe that's why it was called Up...).

''That's what you get for picking up a fight against me. Not even the sun has a chance against me!'' And right after she said that, victorious music started sounding, and not long after it was over, Ukko managed to get out of the water, but the impact of the ice was painful, and the water annoying. She didn't start flying as would be expected from a Touhou character, she was busy trying to remember what she was doing.

Thinking that her opponent was still in a fight, the ice fairy descended to keep fighting, but instead she got a question.

''Uuh...what was I trying to do? You look suspicious, I'll dissintegrate you!''

''Not again!I didn't do nothing!''

''Two negatives, that means...I'm dizzy and I just forgot what that means, but I'll take you down anyways!

She didn't do as she said, though, as before any of the two girls could make a move, Chen appeared, it looked like she needed to say something important.

''Von underground in bad bad thing!'' She screamed while flailing her arms like some weird inflatable catperson.

The fairy and the raven just looked at eachother silently as if saying ''wut'', and without rhyme or reason, Chen punched them both, one with each fist, of course. She hit them so hard she sent them all the way to the Hakurei shrine, but the shrine maiden didn't realise.

''Once again, the shrine hasn't got any donations... .''

''Do up the shrine'' said a mysterious voice as music started sounding, and stacks of pounds started falling from the sky. That's when Loadsamoney made his appearance, waving his vasts ammounts of dosh in front of the shrine maiden in the most pretentious way possible.

''Oh, it's raining that weird money paper again. Clearly something's not right, and of course it looks like I've got to find out who's doing this myself'' She said without paying any attention to the strange cockney richman, and left to fight against random people until she found the culprit, like usual.

Loadsamoney kept dancing and bragging about his dosh, which while hypnotic, it wasn't something worth wasting time for Cirno, she had to go back to her lake as soon as possible. And Utsuho started following her.

''Hey! Don't follow me!'' Said the ice fairy

''I'm not following you, I'm just going for that cat''

''No way, I'm going for that cat too, I'll get her!''

''She is a possible threat to the reactor, I will get rid of her!''

''If you're not going to let me do it alone, then okay, but I'll be the boss''

''My task is to regulate the flames of hell and get rid of anything that might threaten the generator, I don't need further orders!''

They continued to argue a bit before concentrating on the flight, a worrying ammount of fairies made their appearance. They weren't something to worry about due to their power, as both of the girls were strong enough to deal with them, but because whenever a lot of fairies started attacking, it meant something bad was nearby.

After fighting the fairy horde, the big enemy appeared. It was none other than Wriggle Nightbug...again. She seemed confident, but not happy.

''You again, I see''

''I don't remember seing you in a long time'' said Cirno

''Not you Cirno, I'm talking about the crow''

''Uuh, are you talking about me?'' Said the RAVEN, it's not her fault that she didn't get they were refering to her...or maybe it was partially her fault, at the most.

''You can't go around treating bugs like that. Everyone tries to kill us and acting like we are worthless. But not anymore''

The earth started crumbling, and a mighty roar was heard by everyone at a half Kilometer radius from Wriggle. From beneath the earth came out a gigantic Toho monster: Megalon, god of the seatopians.

Both girls tried using their powers to no avail against Megalon, but he was too sturdy to even get knocked back, if he was getting damaged, he didn't show any signs of it.

''I didn't really want to do this, but I have no other way'' claimed Wriggle while standing on the kaiju's shoulder. Right after, she gave him an order to attack, which the weird giant bug thing followed blindly by spitting a napalm bomb.

While the firefly and her new trump card flew away to destinations unknown, Utsuho covered herself and took the explosion as best as she could. The dust cloud raised by the bomb slowly faded away to reveal that Cirno had dissapeared, probably due to being completely obliterated by the bomb just like everything else around her.

''Oh, she's dead'' Geez, Utsuho sure was shocked by her death.

''I'm not done for!'' Suddenly shouted Cirno ''A simple bomb won't be enough to take me down''

She was right, Cirno was virtually inmortal thanks to her high motivation(And because fairies always reappear, should they get ''killed'', or so I heard). That was the good news, but the bad news was that there were now two gals who hit them and got away, that just couldn't be.

''Forget the cat, right now I'm going to take wriggle and her cockroach, it's bigger and much stronger.'' Said Cirno ''Let's go!''

Utsuho followed, somewhat confused about...quite a lot of things. During their travels in search of the seatopian beast, they got to learn important things about eachother (Mainly their names) and ended up somehow in the mountains, and soon got to see something interesting, or more correctly someone got interested in them. Not long before they decided to land, another bird came down, it was that infamous tengu, Aya Shameimaru.

''It seems the story about the mysterious man with the raven was a bit wrong. You look out of place, but it's not exactly worth an article.''

Cirno was about to say something, probably something about her being story material, but in came a swarm of fairies, and not long after that sudden traffic Orin appeared with her cart. Upon seeing her, Utsuho seemed to cheer up, and greeted her friend with some more enthusiasm than she had shown towards anyone else during the rest of the day.

'You here without anyone dying, this could be part of an interesting article'' Aya snapped a picture with her camera.

''Ya shouldn't be so hasty, I've been following the shrine maiden and a swordman who's been causing trouble lately. Knowing the stories about him, someone's bound to drop dead right about...'' The body of a man fell right on Orin's cart. ''Now.''

The dead man looked like he came straight from Japan's very late 1500's; he was stabbed by one of his own swords in the chest, he still hanged on to the other one with his hand, which had an unusual purple tone, just like the rest of his skin. But most interesting of all was the fancy eyepatch that loosely hanged from his neck, probably meant to cover his red right eye. Aya knew this man.

''Munenori Yagyu?!''

''Yeah, when I heard he was in a fight, I remembered that newspaper article ya wrote about him and knew there would be corpses to carry with me''

Poor Utsuho was confused...even more confused, that is. Luckily for her, Rin realized this and was quick to explain.

''It's true, ya don't usually read the newspaper, right sis?. Well, you see, this man's been lately going around getting in fights and attacking people without reason, so wherever he went, there ended up being corpses to take with me, it's been a busy week, it's been long since I had so much fun''

''That was nothing!'' said Munenori as he hopped back into action. He pulled out the sword from his chest, laughing as blood started pouring out at high speed like water out of a firehose. He licked the blood from the blade, and got in a fighting stance.

''I didn't know I had so many girls going after me, am I that popular?' he kept chuckling as he said this, he seemed to be in an awfully good mood ''I don't like getting into fights, but don't worry, I've got enough for all of you''

His smugness wasn't very pleasant, and he clearly meant trouble. He whistled and pointed towards Aya, who was bombarded by a murder of crows which she counterattacked by calling forth her own crows; both Aya's and Munenori's dissapeared upon clashing with eachother. Following that, Aya took out a spellcard only to be interrupted by Yagyu throwing sand to her eyes. Aya was a quick thinker, though, before the sand could reach her she waved her fan at it and created a gust of wind that returned it to sender, not that it hit him, he wasn't bad at reacting fast, either.

''Where did the sand come from, anyways? Did he create it? I've never read about a Yagyu doing such thing'' Aya casually wrote that piece of information on her notepad as she talked.

Munenori wasn't gonna answer that, and neither were the other girls. Even if they would, they couldn't, because a bunch of zombie fairies appeared.

''Nothing to worry about, they're just regular fairies acting'' explained Aya, and soon after that they jumped on Munenori and started biting him

''Okay...maybe they're not acting this time''

Munenori sliced down the fairies as he left the area, and the girls also got rid of the ones around them, but they just kept coming and coming, there were so many of them that they could easily blot out the sun, and they didn't take long to recover from their wounds. They weren't very strong, but being so many meant that sooner or later one of those fairies would get them.

''I hate running away, but we must get out of here!'' said Cirno.

''Well said, there's no point in fighting them now'' agreed Aya

''Let's go, sis, we can't stay here!'' Orin told her friend Utsuho, but she didn't seem to listen.

''Even if they're a lot and undead, they are still just small weak fairies''

Since it seemed she couldn't be convinced, Rin just grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and pulled her out of there until she started following the group. The fairies kept following them for a chance at getting their tasty flesh, luckily they weren't too far from their new hideout.

''Let's get go down that hole, everyone! We're going to the underground city!'' told Rin


	3. Scarlet Devil Manor

''We're in position'', said Dallas, overlooking the Scarlet Devil Mansion from some nearby shrubbery.

Bain, his main source of information, hidden in some secret hideout as always, inmediately answered through the radio.

''Alright, gentlemen, thanks to Houston and Wick's job, I'm getting their radio frequencies perfectly''

''What about the guards?'' asked Wolf.

''I can't give you an exact number yet, but there's atleast over 50 of them patrolling inside the mansion. It's apparently bigger on the inside.''

The PAYDAY gang awaited in their hidding spot until a man in a van came to the front gate of the mansion. He was soon stopped by Meiling, and they both got in a looooong conversation about...well, I don't know, but I bet it was about rubber ducks.

''Good, the distraction worked. Let's get moving'' said Dallas.

Along with Hoxton, Wolf and Chains, he climbed up the outer walls and sneaked in through the door. It wasn't the most sensible option, but there weren't many windows and they hadn't brought any climbing equipment to get to the top.

''Looks like somebody loves the colour red'' Deduced Hoxton, and it was a bit of an understatement, the whole place was pretty much red.

''Guys, remember, you're looking for a purple safe'' explained Bain '' it should be located on Ms. Scarlet's room, according to our client.

''Got it'' replied Dallas before moving on ''stay invisible and stick together''.

The gang carefully walked through the halls, the few lights inside the mansion were pretty deem, so it was a bit hard to see...and to be seen. After a while of walking, they finally got in an interesting looking place: a library. As they looked around, they saw nothing but shelves full of books, as would be expected from a library, but its size was astonishing, there was no way on earth a simple library inside a mansion could be that huge. The shelves seemed to go on forever, but atleast it wasn't hard to stay hidden...up until Bain gave them the bad news.

''Fellas, I've lost contact with Marquez, they're onto us! They're sending an assault wave to the libary, so get ready for a fight!''

''So much for stealth'' sighed Dallas, not too surprised.

They all got in position, weapons ready and covering their backs to avoid any possible sneak-attack, and soon started hearing the sound of the assault units.

''Go, go, go!'' Screamed one of the fairies ''let's get this over with quick so I can have a snack!''

''Get 'em, cloaker!'' shouted another one

The sound of a charging cloaker was heard, but it wasn't coming out of the crew's radio, it was the cloaker herself. She soon crashed through one of the bookshelves with a flying kick and downed Dallas.

''I don't think you get how grazing is supposed to work!'' It was Hong Meiling, though she didn't act much like her, also her usual clothes were a dark shade of blue and she was wearing the night vision goggles caracteristical of a cloaker.

She kept on beating Dallas up until Chains shot her right in the face with his shotgun. That seemed to take her down, but her face was completely fine and she looked still alive, if knocked out.

''Get the fuck up!'' shouted Chains while helping his friend get up.

''Thanks, buddy...''

The crew now had a brand new hole to cover from the assault wave. The fairies were just as reckless and dumb as the cops from PAYDAY 1, but they were smaller and didn't have to use no weapons, meaning they couldn't take anything from them. While their right flank and the hole in the shelf were taken care of by Dallas and Wolf, Chains and Hoxton pushed the left flank, opening up a window for escaping to the team.

''Dallaaaas, Wolfy, get a move on!'' ordered Hoxton

The team ran as fast as they could to get to the stairs, and on the way they got another message from Bain.

''They're sending what they call a ''Book wave'', I'm not very sure what that could be, but watch out!''

''Maybe they're going to throw books at u-Oh, fuck me!'' assumed Hoxton jokingly, only to be proven right.

A flock (is flock the right word? yeah, let's go with that) of books came down from the high ceiling flying towards them. The killer tomes weren't going to let them get their payday, tackling them and closing on their hands and faces in an attempt at tearing of their limbs that wasn't very succesful but did manage to annoy the gang.

''Goddamnit, now I've seen everything'' stated Chains as he shoved away one of the books from his mask. Shooting the books proved to be an exercise in wasting ammo, they flew all over the place like mad flies and required way more bullets to go down than the fairies, ignoring any damage caused to them until then.

''They're planning to move the safe, you gotta hurry before it's too late'' informed Bain.

''Don't get distracted by the books, keep your distance from them and focus on the cops'' ordered Dallas as they ran towards Remilia's room.

Meanwhile, in that one room where the safe's located, Remilia somehow just realised something wasn't right.

''Sakuya! Why is there a purple safe stuck to the ground?''

Her faithful maid instantly appeared before her to respond to her question. She was wearing an old fashioned (for the normal world's standards, not Gensokyo's) headphones and mike set connected to a radio on top of her usual maid attire.

''Everything is under control, our units will extract the safe as soon as possible to move it somewhere else'' Her tone of voice was different from usual, as was her body language. Both things didn't go unnoticed by Remilia, who had known Sakuya for a long time.

''You're acting strange today, what's going o...? She was interrupted by a squad of swat-armored fairies busting in and surrounding the safe.

'The area is secured, commencing extracion'' Told the leader of the squad to Sakuya through the radio.

''Roger'' answered Sakuya, also through the radio.

The squad leader changed channel and requested a shield be deployed on the room. Not much later the PAYDAY gang closed in, guns pointed toward the extraction team. Wolf did his usual stuff uppon arriving.

''HANDS UP, MUHFUGGAS!''

His shouting came quickly to a halt when a shield came charging his way, making train noises all the way.

''Shit, it's a fucking shieeeeld!'' screamed wolf...he was pretty good at talking loud.

The fairy (who was considerably shorter than the shield she was carrying) wacked him right in his face, knocking him back and blocking the entrance in one quick move.

''Last destination reached: Remilia Scarlet's room'' said the shield unit ''all passengers and criminals still on the train must get down here...oh wait, you can't! Ah hahahahahaha!''

Wolf got up on his feet and tried getting past the shield over and over to no avail, until that dreaded whistle started echoing through the halls again. The next thing they knew, Dallas had been kicked again by Meiling and the shield was down, leatting the crew enter the room.

''You like what you've got? I'll give you some more so you can complain about it!'' Assured the cloaker as she punched poor Dallas on the ground.

Wolf grabbed the shield (as in the item, not the fairy) from the ground and used it to hit Meiling as hard as he could until she stopped moving. Even after that, she didn't look the least bit wounded, just knocked out.

As Dallas got up, that wasn't the end of the problems. The extraction team was there and didn't seem like they wanted to move.

''Drop your weapons, you are clearly outnumbered! You're only four and we're...uhm...'' The squad leader started to count how many women were on her team

''Deploying bulldozer'' said someone through the radio.

''What do you mean bulldozer? We didn't request a bulldozer'' replied Sakuya.

''Yeah, I know, but just act like you did. She just jumped into the action by herself and we couldn't stop her. I don't want the boss to know we goofed up''

''I can perfectly hear everything that fairy's saying'' said Remilia to the chief maid.

''Oops, I forgot to plug in the headphones''

By the time this little conversation happened, the gang had already taken care of the extraction team, the only thing left was incapacitating Sakuya and Remilia and drill the safe.

''Okay, hands in the air, ya twats, I don't want to see you move!'' said Hoxton, pointing his rifle at them.

''If you cooperate we will take what's in the safe and won't do you any harm, we haven't come here to kill innocent people.'' added Dallas.

''Who are you to think you can say that?'' asked Remilia baffled at such bold statement coming from what seemed like regular people.

''Stay back, sir, these men are dangerous'' answered Sakuya.

''Sir? ...Sakuya, what is all of this about, exactly?''

But before Sakuya could explain, the bulldozer fell from the ceiling and on top of her, flattening her like in an old cartoon. This bulldozer did not wear any of the tipical gear, instead being covered by strange cristals forming a kind EOD suit; those cristals were similar to the ones on her wings. The bulldozer was none other than Flandre Scarlet.

''FLAAAANDOZER!'' Screamed Flandre Joyfully.

''Sister, what are you doing here?!''

''Who are you calling sis?! I'm the bulldozer, bitch!

Remilia considered responding to that, but since the day started nothing but pure nonsense happened around her, it was pretty much useless trying to talk things, so she just facepalmed silently at the stupidity of everything around her.

''Damnit, just what we needed!'' said Chains ''C'mon Wolf, put the drill!''

''Alright, give me a second''

Without any delay, Wolf set the drill and it started doing its work. Only one problem: the timer said it would take 2 hours.

''Not this shit again!'' Screamed Chains. Annoyed, he kicked the purple safe, which somehow managed to reduce the time to 20 seconds. ''Oh...cool''

What wasn't cool was the Flandozer, she was an unstoppable killing machine, relentlessly purssuing Dallas and Hox while they dodged her short bursts of energy.

''Don't run, I just want to play charades! I'll play cops and you'll play dead!

''The safe's opening!'' exclaimed Wolf ''It's...it's...a bottle of sake? This can't be it''

''Our client promised to pay millions for what was in the safe no matter how stupid it looked, so take it and run'' explained Bain '''There's already a escape van prepared for you on the exit''.

''Yo Dallas, Hoxton, let's move'' Said Chains

''You think you can run from me?! I'm a grim reaper! A fucking cute grim reaper!'' screamed the Flandozer

She grabbed the empty safe with her hands to toss it at the gang. But just then, that annoying electronic whistle started sounding. Once again, Meiling was running to kick Dallas in the face.

''Not this time!'' Dallas dodged Meiling's roundhouse kick and hit her with the barrel of his gun, knocking her back while he kept on running.

''Not bad, but you'll need more than that to escape from m...''

Unfortunately for the chinese cloaker, Flandre's horrible aim at throwing safes led to her being hit by it and getting knocked out cold again.

''Watch were you're standing, asshole! You've made me miss!'' Screamed the dozer.

The gang ran back the way they came as fast as possible, they opened their way through the typical waves of cops with nothing particularly interesting. That was, until they got back in the library.

''Tango, tango!'' shouted one of the fairy SWATs upon seeing the PAYDAY crew.

The whole squad stood still as if they hadn't understood, and then they shrugged and started dancing tango. Badly.

''Reminds me of Wolf on that night at the club'' said Hoxton in a mocking tone.

''There's no time to waste, guys, something big's coming to the mansion! It's not working for Ms . Scarlet or the cops, but you don't want to be here when it arrives''

They continued their way, ignoring the dancing fairies and finally got out. As they started climbing the outer walls, they heard an explosion. Looking behind them, they saw Megalon destroying the Scarlet Manor, though from their point of view it was just some gigantic insectoid creature shooting lasers from his horn and spitting bombs. They had no idea what it was all about, but they weren't interested to find out. They just ran towards their escape route.

'''This is the strangest shit I've done for a work'' said Dallas.

''Amen'' replied Chains.

''That was pretty exciting, but they better pay us well for that bottle.'' Hoxton explained.

''Wooo! I just got in a shootout with books and tiny cops, I've seen a giant cockroach puke bombs and I'm gonna be millions of dollars richer! This is great, I say we do it again!'' finally screamed Wolf.

* * *

 _This is just a one-time thing, people. The story won't focus on characters who aren't from Touhou anymore, so that's why this story isn't labeled as a crossover. Don't worry, we'll be back with Utsuho's misadventures by the next chapter.  
_


	4. Undying love

Everything was calm in Satori's house, like always. Nothing at all was happening, and Satori was just doing whatever it is she does usually (it's quite likely that it's nothing interesting, I say). But that was only until the small team of 4 busted in trough the door.

''Ms. Satori!'' said Utsuho. ''You're fine!''

''Yes I am...so zombies are closing in? And they didn't even listen to you, Rin''

Cirno tried talking, only to get interrumpted by Satori.

''They're too many even for you? I see''

''Hey, I didn't say that!''

''Ms. Satori can read minds. Pretty cool, don't ya think?'' said Rin.

''No, there's no way I can talk if she says all what I'm thinking'' replied Satori.

''Stop reading my thoughts!'' Cirno started getting a bit irritated.

Aya got in the conversation, to avoid possible in-fights in the group when zombies could try forcing their way into the house any moment.

''Anyways, the undead fairies aren't the only problem, I've heard from some youkai of the underground city that a giant insect woke up''

Rin looked at her fabblergasted ''When?''

''Well, I wouldn't be a good scoop if I didn't know how to gather information quickly''

''A giant insect?'' Utsuho scratched her head ''I think I've seen one recently''

Satori read her mind, and it indeed fit the description given to Aya. They also talked about how some people in Gensokyo were acting unlike themselves as of late, but they couldn't reach any semi-logical conclusion. After a day of having nothing to do, the zombies roaming the area left for the most part and the group split: Aya went to do her usual photo-shooting stuff, Rin kept looking for souls to take, Satori opted to stay in her home, safe from the zombies, and Cirno and Utsuho...well, they should have gone somewhere smart and to the reactor, respectively, but instead they sneaked their way to the surface in search of Wriggle and Megalon.

''They can't be hard to find, something that big is easy to see'' said Cirno

''Once we get to them, I'll vaporize them!''

''No way, I'm the one getting revenge!''

Again they argued, and again they were interrupted by somekind of nonhuman entity whose speed made it look like little more than a blur, though thinking about it, the nonhumanity is a very mundane quality in gensokyo. They got pushed at a new speed never before reached by a duo made of a fairy and a raven.

They crashed into Kaguya's house, and the hostile creature pinned Cirno against the wall, revealing it's true identity as...Cheeeeeeeeeen! But she hadn't taken much care for her looks since the last time, little horns had grown around her body, and her eyes looked simpler and less alive, giving the impression that her mind wasn't grounded in reality anymore.

''I think the face of your fairy, eat gonna buddy!''

She started biting Cirno's hair while trying not to choke on her own laughter, giving Utsuho the perfect opportunity to shoot a big ball of fire at the crazed lady cat, the great temperature of the miniature sun turning her instantly into roasted chicken.

''That's odd'' And you know it's true when it's Cirno saying it.

''Target neutralized, resuming main objective''

''What you've done there, it was beautiful'' a new, unfamiliar voice chimed in.

''Uh? Who are you?'' Wondered Utusuho.

''Somewhat rude to ask that without first saying your name, but I'll let it pass. My name is Kaguya''

''I'm Utsuho, but my friends call me Okuu''

''And I'm C...''

''Sssh, quiet, you!'' Interrupted harshly the moon princess. ''I am talking to my future wife''

''What'' Okuu barely managed to breathe out in shock

''You have, against all odds, completed one of my impossible requests: A roast chicken made from a nekomata'''

''What'' Repeated Okuu

''We'll be happy, and have tons of babies made of milk and love!''

She quickly clinged to Utsuho's control rod and started pulling in vain, trying to move her fiancée somewhere more intimate. She pulled and pulled, but she couldn't move the big dumb bird an inch, and eventually Kaguya got shoved away, leading to unforeseen consequences.

''Oh no you did not! One does not win my heart and then just breaks it! You're coming with me!''

''It's war, then!'' Utsuho readied her control rod

''No, it's love!'' Retorted the moon princess ''give me assistance in my dire needs, oh Eirin!''

Eirin jumped from...somewhere, I can't know everything, I'm not a wizard. Well, anyways, she jumped with a teapot in hand and somehow managed to force Utsuho inside, making her easy to carry to the wedding ceremony.

And like that they left, eager for the upcoming marriage pact that Utsuho hadn't agreed on, and there was nothing she could do about it. That was, unless somebody gave a featered companion a hand and got them out of that metaphorical pickle...yum, pickles.

''Don't you agree we'll make the most beautiful family, Eirin?'' asked Kaguya

''Honestly, I think there are more important matters than the marriage right now. Like that swordman who's been rounding the place as of late''

''That's not important, he's a man, and we all now that in this place males aren't even an annoyance''

''I'll show you annoying!''

''Who are you?!''

''I'm Cirno, the strongest fairy of all Gensokyo!''

''Uh-huh, and what's the matter Mrs. Strong Fairy'' inquired Kaguya

''I come to declare war! Prepare to die!''

''War?! What for?''

''Don't ask me questions, this is a war for revenge! You'll pay for kidnapping the crow!''

''Oh, so you want your girlfriend back? As if!'' Kaguya pointed towards Cirno ''Eirin, destroy her!''

Eirin gave the teapot to Kaguya, ripped the short sleeves of her garments and proceeded to jump several feet and land on Cirno with an elbow drop, creating two fine holes in the ceiling and making Cirno's back do a disgusting ''crack'' noise, after which she got up and raised her fists to the cheer of a sudden rabbit auddience.

Cirno got back up on her feet and stumbled her way towards Eirin, only to get grabbed by the arms by her. Eirin started spinning on her place like a hitmontop in any of his sprites, and once she reached enough speed she let her opponnent go, sending her crashing against some of the rabbits watching who promptly exploded, much to the rest of the hares' enjoyment.

But that didn't stop Cirno. She got back up, just as motivated, and flew directly towards Eirin, who grabbed her by the face and smashed her against the ground as hard as she could.

''Feel powerless, feel despair!'' Shouted Eirin.

But Cirno was incapable of feeling such things. While still on the ground and grabbed by Eirin, she shot her in the face with a big chunk of ice that she generated in her hands to free herself, and after that she shot tons of small shards of ice shotgun style, knocking down Eirin and annoying the crowd.

''You actually have the courage to fight back?'' asked Kaguya ''You can't have her, you're just a simple weak fairy''

''I don't bluff when I say I am the strongest! I'll have to teach you by force too!''

''Come forth towards my direction, male sibling!'' Kaguya threw the teapot to the mass of rabbits and raised her fists, but the crowd didn't manage to catch the pot, making it fall in the ground and shatter.

With her prison broken, Utsuho was free again. The fire of rage was burning with strength this time, she didn't give any words at all, she just pulled out a spellcard and glared at the princess as giant spheres of fire generated from thin air and started moving in a circular motion to crash against her.

''Looks like a good time for a fire-based pun'' noticed Kaguya while dying several times due to the miniature suns.

Utsuho kept at it for a while until Kaguya came to realise that the woman she so badly wanted to marry felt nothing but a desire for murdering her. Understanding that there was no hope for marriage at the moment, she started delivering her monotone and dull acting.

''Oh no, I am dead'' and she dropped to the ground like plank.

''Serves you right! But my anger is still burning, I'm not done yet!''

Utsuho turned to stare at Cirno, causing a long and tense awkward silence.

''There are still more threats to the reactor core that I must get rid of!'' The bird flew out to continue her search. Accidentally taking Cirno with her on the way.

''What was that?!'' Complained one of the rabbits.

''Yeah, that sucked, Kaguya!'' continued another one.

''You two shut up, I'm your princess and if I want to let win a pretty crow girl whom I have an unhealthy infatuation with, I think I'm in my right to act strange!'' retorted Kaguya ''Now go build me a stalker shrine, and I might forgive your insolence.

''Y-yes, princess!'' All the rabbits ran away to do such thing, fearing the anger of her strange-as-of-lately boss.


	5. Dead & deader

After much flying, Utsuho finally stopped after crashing through a gigantic gate and into a bunch of stairs. Little did both know that they had entered Hakugyokurou.

''Where are we?'' asked Cirno

''Oh, you're still here'' realized Utsuho.

''Of course, you grabbed me in mid-flight! And I don't think that roach is here, we should be going to her territory''

''Wait, weren't we going separate?'' asked genuinely Okuu

''Oh yes, that's what I meant''

So Cirno turned around to look at the door, and couldn't avoid mentioning out loud the big hole left by their dynamic entrance. To which Okuu replied with no care in the world.

''It's just a big door, nothing's going to happen''

But just as she said that, a certain trio of mischievous fairies came in through the hole.

''Hey, guess who's a member of the undead!'' Said Sunny Milk ''I am!''

''Me too. I'd really like some brains right now'' Added Luna Child

''Not me, I'm just playing pretend'' explained Star Saphire.

''Haven't you learned your lesson? The three of you can't defeat me, so even if you are zombies you don't stand a chance!'' shouted Cirno

''I'm afraid it's you who doesn't have a chance this time'' retorted Luna

Through the hole started coming in a horde of zombies. The shambling putrid creatures hungered for the flesh of living beings, so Okuu and Cirno looked like pretty tasty meals to them.

They weren't as many as the previous time, though. They could still be taken on by our main characters.

''Impurity detected, commencing action!'' Said Utsuho

''It's time to clean — er, fight!'' added Cirno

As Utsuho started glowing with the intensity of a red supergiant Cirno floated on top of her and started spinning, cause spinning makes things cooler. While the former covered the undead in fire hotter than Marisa in a skin tight swimsuit, Cirno released ice that froze anyone foolish enough to get close to them (and in turn those frozen fairies froze any other who touched them), making them pretty much untouchable. Soon enough there was no fairy left...except for those three, that is.

''Unbelievable, d-did they just stand a chance after all?!'' exclaimed Luna

''Maybe the power of their friendship is stronger than a kajillion zombies'' concluded Sunny.

''Or maybe we should have done something more than just standing there like flying rocks'' argued Star

''Friendship?'' Utsuho looked at them puzzled.

''Yes, a strong bond of friendship. It's when you trust somebody and really believe they won't eat your brain'' explained Luna

''That tasty, tasty brain'' Sunny's mind drifted away as she drooled uncontrollably.

''Well, Cirno won't eat my brain, but that's...''

Sunny quickly snapped back into reality and lunged to bite Utsuho, hopeless as her attempt would be. Yet, before Okuu could retaliate, Cirno froze the zombie's face and smacked her so hard that she was sent flying back until she crashed against Luna, making them both go through the hole in the wall.

''Got it already? I'm the strongest there is'' stated Cirno ''run back home and I might be merciful!''

Utsuho looked at her as if saying 'No way, I'm stronger'

''Well, you're pretty strong too. You can be second strongest.''

Star began to feel something close to fear. She was relieved to not be surrounded anymore by shambling creatures who could devour her at any moment, but she was alone against those two in the middle of unknown territory.

''Maybe it's time to make a tactical fallback... .''

''You're not going anywhere'' an ominous voice stated. As both the ice fairy and the raven turned around, they saw an imposing figure a few steps above, clad in green and wielding a sword. A spirit sphere followed her as if it were part of her self. ''Do you really think you can get away after breaking down the entrance?''

''I didn't break down that wall, they did!''

''You came here with that army of zombies!'' answered back Utsuho

''Zombies? This is worse than we thought, I must inform lady Yuyuko inmediately.''

''Yes, you should do that right now'' Hurried Star.

''Don't even think I'll leave you escape so easily, I shall make you pay first!''

With that said, Youmu jumped several feet in the air, shooting energy bullets towards the pair of enemies closest to her before falling between the two and following with a spin attack using her sword. Cirno barely managed to recover from the projectiles' impact and back away to dodge, and Okuu, being the sturdy woman she is, just took the bullets right in the chest and then blocked the blade with her control rod. Thinking fast, Youmu used her bright ball thingie to hit Utsuho in the face, but despite flinching, the raven was still very capable of whacking her with that big rod she had on her arm. The poor gardener was hit so hard that she actually got buried from the waist below.

Sensing she was the next, Star finally tried to exit the scene, but the way she had taken to come there was blocked by Yuyuko.

''Where are you going?''

''Umh...I was jus-just going to the...thing?''

''My, The Thing, you say? Surely you could postpone whatever you have to do there. Wouldn't you like to come drink with us under the cherry blossoms?''

''Lady Yuyuko, that fairy brought along with her a swarm of zombified fairies, you can't really mean that!''

''Is that so? I don't see any zombies around here''

After being pulled out of the hole by Yuyuko, Youmu pointed at Utsuho & Cirno ''These two other intruders got rid of them''

''Then wouldn't it be appropriate, to invite them to have a drink with us?''

''Yes, but they're also the ones who breached the barrier, we should get the three out of the netherworld.''

''I'm sure you're being too harsh, Youmu''

The three intruders tried to give reasons why they couldn't stay in there, but they ended up taking on Yuyuko's offer somehow. I guess it's hard saying no to such a cute face.

They sat down below one of the trees, for a place related to something as gloom as death, it looked beautiful. Okuu drank along Youmu and Yuyuko like it was her last day on earth; maybe it was because she was enjoying the experience despite not wanting to be in there, or maybe it was because no misadventure in Gensokyo can go without a good drinking session. They also ate things, but there isn't much to say about it...mainly because there isn't anything about Yuyuko's big appetite that hasn't been told already.

''Thanks for everything, but I must leave. I need to keep taking care of the reactor'' said Utsuho.

''I still have to get my revenge!'' added Cirno.

''Yes, we all have to leave. So we'll be leaving now'' stated Star.

The voice of an unknown man came from behind one of cherry trees ''You should've left earlier then, little girl'' It wasn't too hard to recognize, few men sounded that smug and that patronizing, as if constantly about to loudly laugh at your face. Utsuho and Cirno had seen this man before, altough briefly.

Yuyuko, with her usual friendly tone of voice, greeted the man.

''What a surprise seeing you here, Munenori Yagyu. Have you perhaps come here to plant your trees?''

''Yes, this place will make a fine planting ground for the genma trees. Once I'm rid of you!'' Munenori laughed to himself...man, does he like laughing.

Youmu pulled out both of her swords and stepped in between both of them.

''We won't allow you to plant the genma trees!''

''Do you know what they're talking about?'' asked Utsuho to her fairy companion

''No idea''

And they weren't gonna have any idea anytime time soon, for there was a crazy swordman to take on first. For an already great start, Munenori pointed his sword at the group and stated what thankfully weren't his true intentions.

''Let's dance!'' and with that said, he dissapeared in a puff of smoke as his right eye glowed, only to pop out again instantly with two copies of him.

''That's why I wanted to leave...'' explained star.

But it was already too late. Without any more delay, the three Yagyus went for the offensive, one who attacked Youmu and Star, another who engaged Youmu alone and the third one going against Cirno and Okuu.

Despite the advantage of projectiles against a sword wielder without any danmaku skills, both the raven and the fairy were in for a fierce fight. As soon as he got his eyes on Okuu, he madly swung his swords against her nonstop, which was easy to block with the control rod in the same vein as in the fight against Youmu, but as it turns out Munenori is smarter than he seems, and he quickly perked up and leaped forward to cut his adversary in half on the way down. Utsuho quickly dashed away and shot a burst of solar energy at him, throwing him several feet away before rolling like a log on mechanical stairs.

With a quick jump, he was back up. ''That was nothing!''

Cirno, who had been in the air forming a giant iceball, threw said ball on Munenori's head, but he again thought fast. With one of his swords he stabbed the sphere and smashed it on the ground, creating dozens of small ice shards that rained down on the three; the rain served as a distraction, allowing the swordman to call upon his murder of crows to attack Utsuho.

The birds barely lasted long, but they lasted enough for him to jump and slash Cirno, throwing her to the ground; once she was there, he proceeded to repeatedly stomp her. Not one to give up, Cirno managed to create a big pointy chunk of ice and shoot it at Munenori, piercing his chest in a pretty...not pretty way. And just when things seemed to have turned for the worst for Munenori, Utsuho grabbed him by the throat and sent him upwards with all her strength before taking flight and soaring back and forth in flames, juggling his body until it vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Having taken care of that one, Utsuho got her feet back on the ground and Cirno got back up, none the worse for wear. Meanwhile, Youmu was still fighting against her purple-shaded mad jerk of a rival, he was quite the opponent in swordfighting, staying mostly on defense and trying to find an opening for attack between Youmu's movements, but whatever opening she might had she always made sure to cover up with danmaku.

Things finally changed when Munenori tried jumping like the other Munenori attempted against Okuu, leading to Youmu jumping and slicing him in mid-air. The Munenori fell to the ground and vanished in a cloud of smoke too.

Those two weren't actually that much of a fight, come to think about it, but they sure seemed like real big brawls compared to the other one. The Munenori who engaged Yuyuko didn't stand a chance, he didn't manage to even get close to her. He got bombarded with deadlly butterfly shaped danmaku and ended up biting the dust before he could say some mocking one-liner.

''Damn it...'' the anger in his voice faded away quickly after that, and he got back into laughing ''you're pretty tough girls, aren't you? Don't get cocky, though''

Barely able to stand straight, he still cackled as he ran away at neck-break speed. Sooner than you can say ''carbon based lifeform with sharpened steel instrument meant for the cutting of living beings'', he was gone.

''He's not getting away, let's go!'' shouted Cirno, determined as ever.

And they flew away.

''They flew away!'' exclaimed Youmu...yeah, I had just said that in the previous line.

''All's fine that end's fine, isn't it, Youmu? After all, his plans for taking the undeworld were foiled''

''They sure were, lady Yuyuko, but I don't think this really is over. The fairy zombies could come back anytime soon''

''A gardener's job is never over, Youmu''

''Well, I'm done with this. I'm going home'' replied Star

As she tried scurrying away, Youmu grabbed her like one would a mischievous kitten.

You're not going anywere. You are going to help build the door you and the zombies broke.''

''But I didn't do anything!'' Whined Star. Of course, nobody listened to her. Being Star can suck big time.


	6. Shocking revelations

''Life is great with so much death!'' happily exclaimed Rin as she put yet another dead body in the wheelbarrow. ''In fact...there might be too much death... .

Such worries seemed to stem from there being so many corpses and such little space in comparisson to place them all, which is a pretty sensible thing to worry about.

''Well, I'll have to make do with this and come back later for the rest...once I put one more on top''

She grabbed the closest body she found: A young-looking woman clad in tones of blue and green. Her long hair and skin were different shades of gray; her ears were long and pointed, and her eyes were ultramarine, or azure, or...well, let's just say it was a striking blue color, cause I'm not too good with colors. And to top it off, she wasn't even dead.

''Ow...what happened?'' pondered the gray girl.

''I don't know, but it can't be nothing good if ya ended in the middle of a pile of corpses''

''Oh, a neocolom. I was starting to think I had ended in a completely different world''

''A neo-what? Sorry, but I don't get what you're saying''

The mysterious woman frowned ''Sorry, I confused you for a different race. Anyways, it's rude not to present myself, I am Shernini Schie, I come from the region of Findeste, but it seems I've got lost. Am I perhaps in Kraltarla?''

The kasha looked at her puzzled ''Never heard of such places, but it's nice to meet ya. This is Gensokyo, and you can call me Orin.

Shernini smiled ''It's a pleasure''.

Orin grabbed some corpse and carefully put it on top of her cadaver-tower as she kept on talking with the stranger.

''So, what do ya remember doing before waking up here?''

''I remember coming out of my house and finding myself out of Loger Forest, I tried finding out where I was, but a giant insect attacked me''.

''A giant bug?'' that sounded awfully familiar.

''Wow, me too!'' slurred a recently arrived Suika

''It also attacked you?'' asked Rin

''Yes, the biggest and strongest beetle I've seen, and it wasn't alone''

''Are you saying there were more like it?'' inquired Shernini shocked.

''No, a woman was going with it''

''It is unlikely, but maybe then the giant bug was a Larva and the one you saw was it's summoner''

''I think I've heard about that bug before. It's some sorta god summoned by a group of underground dwellers'' explained Rin

''Then it could really be a larva''

''What's a larva?'' questioned Suika

''It's a sort of minor god. Larvae live in the boundary plane, where they can be summoned from to come to our world''

Suika scratched her head ''Well, that was a huge minor god''

''A minor god, but a big scoop'' Aya said as she landed on the ground at neck-breaking speed. ''We cross paths again, Orin''.

Aya didn't leave time for them to say a thing before she started asking questions.

''So, what do you have to say about the giant bug Megalon, Suika''

''Well, it could spit explosions and shoot lightning. It tried breaking my gourd, it ruined a good party and it ran away without facing me''

''I see, I see... .'' Aya wrote all of it down, knowing Suika's words couldn't be lies.

And so and so, they kept talking about Megalon. Orin had some corpses to carry to hell, she couldn't stay there listening to them. Little did she know that there still was more to come.

''Do up the house!'' a voice unlike the one in the second episode said out loud.

In jumped Sanae, waving stacks of pentagrams and moving her crotch in a way that'll make Loadsamoney proud as a deep laugh was heard echoing in the background.

Orin, Shernini and Suika just stared at her, the first of the three noticeably more dumbstruck than the rest.

''Reimu H

On your turtle!'' shouted Sanae

She raised one hand and started using it as a hand puppet ''This is- This is an- thi-  
This is an insult to our intelligence''

And when things seemed to not be able to get any weirder... .

''It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her, I did naht!'' Johnny from The Room stepped in as he angrily threw a bottle of water to the ground before realizing he was not alone ''Oh, hai girls!

''Shut your mouth!'' Shouted Sanae right before blowing the poor man to smithereens and shooting a rain of pentagrams out of her hands ''YEAH! Doooooosh!''

Everyone left the area. I guess they already had enough sillyness, or maybe that was an insult to their intelligence.

As she made her way for the hell of blazing fires, Orin wondered what could her pal Utsuho be doing. That was a good question, what exactly was she doing? Well, you see, she had somehow ended in the middle of some big pile of rubble.

''I don't remember these ruins before, I bet Wriggle's been here'' deduced Cirno.

''This part of the reactor is in horrible condition. I didn't even remember it'' said Okuu.

''This isn't a reactor, you know?''

''I'm not falling for that one. I won't ignore my duty''

''So you work at a reactor?''

''A nuclear reactor, powered by nuclear energy. It's the burning power of the sun, with it you can do such things as power giant robots, keep the hot-springs warm and cook some english beef''

''That doesn't really sound that good... .''

Utsuho's eyes opened wide in shock ''you can't be serious''

''I guess...she's too cool for those things'' the raspy voice of a man said

Both girls turned around to see Patchouli crawling out of the ruins.

''She escaped'' Her voice was weak, mostly an exhausted whisper, but it clearly did not sound at all like the one they had heard right before.

''You two...you don't seem to know...'' her voice suddenly changed into the aforementioned gruff tone, all signs of weakness gone ''a giant beetlee has been bugging the mansion'' She started getting back up, but she quickly fell to her knees as sparks flew out from her body.

''What's happening?'' asked Utsuho, Cirno knew as little as she did.

''You don't know...not very surprising'' she had regained her real voice. ''I'm not sure how much I have left before I stop being''

''What are you talking about?'' Utsuho questioned.

''I don't know how, but there's a force in gensokyo that's changing people...'' she grabbed her right wrist as it started sending sparks without control. Her voice switched again ''and I'm turning into a very bright girl''

And that's, apparently, when Patchouli lost control of herself. She charged at both girls, letting out a shout that sounded like a mix between a warcry from her man voice and a scream of pain from her original one. Luckily for her, Okuu just needed to punch her in the face once before she fell to the ground.

''Thank you... .'' Patchouli's breath seemed to get worse, but her voice had gone back to normal, and she did sound genuinely relieved, if only very slightly ''As I was saying, I didn't have much time to investigate, but I suspect that the Moriya shrine is related to this incident. Maybe you could go there, and do something...about...'' she stopped talking, and breathing altogether.

Okuu and Cirno stared at her, they didn't have much to say about it, they weren't even completely sure what she was talking about...and then all of a sudden Patch added something more in a non-chalant tone ''The giant insect is plannig to go there too''

''What are we waiting for? Let's go!'' responded Cirno before Okuu and her flew away.

A few minutes later, Marisa arrived flying on her broom ''Don't mind me, I'm just here to borrow some...what just happened here?''

''The mansion has been destroyed not long ago'' explained Patchy ''it isn't the best time for you to come rob my books''

''Oh, wow...aren't you going to move somewhere else?''

''No, the rocks poking my spinal gland stop me from making horrible puns''

''Okay... .'' And Marisa left to never come back.


	7. The peak of insanity

Once they managed to know where the Moriya shrine was, they got there inmediately. Not a single creature got the guts to try stopping them until the end of the stairs, where they found themselves face to face against a small kappa carrying a big backpack. She was cute as can be, or would of had been if not for her face and her attitude, which left no doubt that she was hunting trouble.

''Sorry, but you're not on the list'' Stated the kappa by the name of Nitori.

''I have orders to eradicate any foreign substance and get rid of any intruder in this reactor'' explained Utsuho.

''You really are dumber than a rock if you think so, you winged rat''

Okuu was a bit annoyed by such offense ''Winged rat?!''

''Though maybe calling you that is insulting to real rats'' said Nitori with a smug smirk on her face.

''This girl gets it!''

''You said it!'' agreed Cirno

''A dimwitted bird and a flying ice-cube, what a team. You better turn back and go home to your moms, because you don't stand a chance against me''

''You'll be the one crying for your mom once we're done with you!'' Shouted Cirno.

Cirno shot a few ice bullets that Nitori easily reflected with a big wrench.

''Pathetic'' she scoffed.

Utsuho wasn't in the mood for Nitori's attitude, so she just shot a laserbeam out of her control rod and disintegrated that stupid tool.

''Interesting, but not scary'' Nitori stated, as she pulled another wrench and threw it at Utsuho. It didn't manage to hit her, but the kappa kept closing in with confidence anyways.

Utsuho grabbed Nitori's face and smashed the girl onto the ground before trying to stomp on her with her reliable elephant foot, but the resourceful kappa activated a device inside her backpack that sprouted a pair of arms to grab Okuu's foot with. Having regained control of the situtation, Nitori striked Cirno with Utsuho and threw the later's body right away so she could gloat.

''That was very smart from my part, wasn't it? Yes, yes it was. I make a fortune fooling foolish fools like you everyday, it isn't surprising that I'm smarter than a pair of dunces...who are members of other species! Because you know, kappas are naturally superior to the rest of species'' She crossed both pairs of arms (the real ones and the ones from the device) after that detail, as if basking on the racism of the remark.

While she was busy bragging, Utsuho grabbed Cirno and flinged her against the kappa. The fairy enclosed herself inside a big ice ball in mid-flight and smashed her target with relative ease. It almost looked like it had all been planned.

''Oh, that's bad. Guess I'l have to...'' leaving her sentence hanging, she dropped her backpack on the ground and jumped inside it.

''Coward!'' said Cirno.

But she had spoken too soon, Nitori wasn't running away. From inside the backpack came out a gargantuan mechanical kappa. Its body shaked non-stop and its eyes glowed a menacing red, but despite that and the size it didn't look too different from a real kappa, making it somehow more unnerving (Not for our main characters, though. They ain' afraid of nothing!).

''What, surprised by my newest invention? Do you like it? I hope so, because I'm about to show you how it works!''

To her dismay, Suwako arrived and asked a very important question ''wouldn't it be phisically impossible for a machine of such magnitude to move well?''

''Oh no, I had forgotten that on purpose, but now that I do remember it...!'' the giant contraption blew up, sending her flying to the sky like fireworks, except there was no boom at the top.

''That's that taken care of'' stated Utsuho ''but what are you doing here anyways?''

''I live in this mountain''

''And what is this mountain doing in the reactor core? I have no information of such thing''

Another goddess, Kanako, got in the conversation ''But we are not in the reactor, Utsuho''

''Uh? Really?'' Utsuho turned to look at Cirno ''Is it true?''

''I've been telling you that for a while'' she answered.

''But if that's true, then... .''

''Yes, you've been slacking off'' Suwako finished her sentence.

''But we're not going to punish you for that'' Kanako promised with fake reassurance ''your real error is hanging around with the culprit of your own misdoings''

''And your misdoing is hanging with her too'' finished again Suwako

Thanks to the inferior processing capacities of their brains, Okuu and Cirno's brains didn't risk their brains exploding from that silly mind-tangling sentence, but they didn't completely get what they were saying.

''I don't understand... .''

''Let me explain, you silly old bird'' Suwako chimed ''a good girl shouldn't hang around with that ice fairy.

''You mean Cirno?''

''Exactly! She is nothing but a problem, and you should of had gotten rid of her the moment you met her''

''What?!'' Cirno got in a fighting stance, ready for the worst

Kanako let a little smile of amusement ''How cute, to see such a feeble creature try to stand against the gods. I would feel bad for her if she didn't deserve to be erased''

''You're not erasing me anytime soon, your words don't scare me!''

Utsuho took a step forward and focused energy onto her control rod ''You're confusing me, but you're not erasing us''

''But I'm not going get rif of you both, you have done nothing but trying to do your job. She's the one who got things out of control, she's the one who threw the brick at you, the one who made you leave the reactor and, as a result, made everything fall into chaos beyond what any of us can comprehend, she's the biggest threat to the generator and all of Gensokyo''

''Is it true?'' Utsuho asked herself ''I don't know, it sounds odd...why would she do that''

''We can get proof'' said Suwako in a sing-song way ''Tell me, fairy, where did you throw your last brick''

''I remember throwing rocks and bricks, but I don't remember it with so much detail''

''See? She doesn't remember, so she's trying to hide the truth! She's the culprit!'' reasoned Suwako ''She's the culprit, death to her!''

A giant stone frog came out of the ground and ate Cirno. When it opened back it's mouth, Cirno was trapped inside behind big rock bars that covered what was the only exit.

''That's one of us frogs you can't freeze, little girl!''

As Cirno tried to get out in vain, Kanako gave some last words to a dumbstruck Utsuho.

''Here's your chance to get your job done, bird of the sun. Erase any molecule of her to the point that she stops existing in present, future and past. Make everything go back to normal again''

''Don't do it!'' asked Cirno as Okuu stared at her ''are you really going to trust her?''

''I...'' Utsuho turned back to face Kanako, much to the goddess' displeasing.

''Don't even think about it. You're too close to fixing everything, don't ruin things further!''

''Don't be stupid, she's trying to fool you'' reasoned Cirno

''It's not me you should be fighting, it's her! So pick a side!''

''Do something already, Sanae be damned!'' screamed an impatient Suwako.

Finally, Utsuho pointed with her control rod and charged a big ball of nuclear energy.

''This will sting a little'' and she shot at Cirno, completely evaporating her and leaving nothing of the frog but a dustcloud.

''Good, gooood, goooooooo...'' Kanako stoped, having realized something ''Wait a minute, if she's gone from time, why is everything still broken? Was I wrong?!''

''Yes you were'' replied Utsuho ''You were wrong to think I would actually follow your orders''

''Does that mean...?''

Cirno flew out of the dust, no worse for wear ''I'm still here!''

Utsuho kept with her speech ''I only met her today, but I won't extinguish Cirno! She's much more likeable than you two, and atleast I get what she talks about!'' she stopped to crack her neck ''I'm going to smash you to pieces!

''We are going to smash you!'' corrected Cirno.

''Mmph, after all you I have done for you, you betray me for this creature? Your lack of faith disgusts me''

''To betray your gods is a pretty mean thing to do. You're not coming out of this one a winner!'' Suwako smiled as she said this, but her murderous intentions were clear.

''Don't interfere, Suwako. The bird's mine, you can take on her friend''

''Okay'' Suwako jumped towards Cirno ''You're all mine, frosty!''

Cirno tried to shoot her down with a barrage of ice, but Suwako took her by surprise with a giant rock hand that raised them both to the skies.

''You think we'll ever reach a ceiling in the sky?'' asked the godess nonchalantly as she threw metal rings at her opponnent.

''I don't wanna know right now!'' Cirno swiftly dogded those rings and launched a small ice ball that Suwako broke into pieces with a single punch.

''Niiiice!'' the frog girl had the biggest smile as she shaked her punching hand ''I like you, I say you and I go bowling after this...if you survive!''

She let out a lame roar and dashed forward to grab Cirno, taking both of them plummeting down to the stairs. During the long way down, Utsuho was busy with her own fight. Kanako moved little, but she barely needed, to, her complex bullet patterns managed to overpower the raw power of Utsuho's brutish projectiles against the raven's expectations.

''You have too much faith in yourself, yet not enough in me, Utsuho. You have three eyes yet are blind to the truth'' Kanako's voice sounded cold, but with a subtle tone of sadness and frustration ''You had the chance to save us, and instead you let chaos keep reigning''

Okuu groaned ''Enough of your nonsense!''

''Funny as it may sound, for a moment I had faith in you, but I was a fool to have hope for such a dumb bird'' And her words of dissapointment didn't end there, she still had a lot to say, it's just that Utsuho zoned it out to focus on setting herself on fire and flying at high speed to pass trough Kanako's danmaku and deal a strike with her mighty fist.

It would have worked perfectly if not for Kanako forming a shield out of four logs to block the punch and push her back to the ground, wich she quickly followed by throwing the logs at her. Without letting her get up, she kept shooting at her. Things were looking pretty bad for Okuu, but she atleast got a breather by using one of her spell cards to form a small energy shield in front of her.

By that time, Cirno had already crashed to the ground along with Suwako, who seemed more excited about it than anything.

''Ha ha, If you keep getting up after my attacks like that, I'm gonna end up having a crush on you'' she said in a teasing tone ''But before that, how about a game of snakes and ladders?''

''You're a frog!''

''I know, right? Maybe I have a thing for snakes'' She kept a friendly, goofy smile as darkness quickly covered the floor.

Cirno managed to avoid the darkness by flying up just in time, and little did she know of the horrible fate that she had avoided, or who was about to suffer in her stead.

Utsuho's shield kept her safe from Kanako's barrage of projectiles, but it made her incapable of shooting in any way, making her only options reaching meelee range or hoping for Kanako to run out of energy before the shield vanished. Both options seemeed pretty unlikely, so it came as a real surprise for the mountain goddess to see her secured victory defied by a sudden fit of paralysis.

Despite all of her power, she couldn't move one inch, she could only watch as giant snakes raised from the mist, surrounding her before closing in for the attack. It was a horrible sight, good thing you readers could not see it!

''Oh...I'm sleeping on the couch for this tonight!'' Joked Suwako despite being clearly worried about messing things up.

Her battle with Cirno still raged on, though, so she didn't stop to think too much about the consequences of her actions and proceeded to shoot high pressure water out of her mouth as if it were a laser beam. The ice fairy managed to freeze the water all the way to Suwako, freezing her face before she could stop shooting and making the ice blow up on her face.

''Aaaagh, you smart nincompoop!''

Once she recovered herself, Suwako tipped her hat and sank in the earth, becoming inmune to Cirno's bullets as she closed in. When she was in range, she popped back up along with a skinny tree that hit the fairy right in the gut.

''That's not how you eat your veggies, Cirno''

By that time, the snakes had already stopped hitting Kanako. She slowly got back up, still in position for a fight, but clearly worn off by the beating.

''Maybe this wouldn't have happened if Keine had helped us. Sadly, she now thinks she's a buffalo, so she won't use her powers''

Utsuho braced herself to keep battling, her shield having already vanished. Yet nothing could of had prepared her for the nasty surprise that Kanako had for her. The rain godess grabbed the big shimemawa circle on her back and started swinging it madly at her at an alarming speed.

Her movements were erratic, and the raven's comparatively sluggish ones meant she had to sacrifice the power of her control rod by using it to block Kanako's surprisingly hard ring. All the while, Kanako ranted about Utsuho.

''You fool! You were the last person left I could actually trust on helping me! I've lost many to this catastrophe, not even I have gotten completely unaffected, and yet I still try to stop this, but you act selfish and cling to a single minuscule life instead of doing what's best for the greater good!''

It took Utsuho some time before she found an opening to counter-attack by sweeping Kanako's feet with her elephant's foot. This made her opponnent lose balance and break her guard, which let her open for a swing with the cannon.

The tide of the battle had changed, as long as Utsuho didn't do any movements that sent Kanako far from her, she had the advantage, since she was the superior meelee fighter despite Kanako's sudden berserker bout.

Meanwhile, Suwako had gone back to throwing rings.

''How's that for a strategy, uh?''

Cirno didn't answer that retorical question, she just kept dodging like the first time until she reflected one of the rings with some ice shards, hitting Suwako's hat and throwing it out of her head. Suwako just stopped attacking and put her hands on her head.

''My hat!'' Her voice started to raise as she clenched her teeth and metaphorical fire lit in her eyes. ''I'll kill you, I'll kill you again and again and again until I kill you so much that you can't die anymore!''

She let out a real battle roar before being unceremoniously sent miles away from one powerful swing of a drill. This was no regular drill, though, it was the arm of another god: Megalon. And on top of Megalon's shoulder was a certain firefly.

''Are you feeling it now, Mr Frogs?'' asked Wriggle

''I finally found you! You'll see this time''

''Not when I shift into maximum quoteverdrive!'' She said while making overly grandiose motions with her arms and with her head hanging as if about to fall out of her neck ''Megalon, destroy that shrine! Make the gods themselves learn to respect us!''

Without any hesitation, Megalon started to spit bombs at the Moriya shrine, breaking it to pieces and raising the ground around it. Taking the kaiju as a higher priority, Kanako turned her back and started shooting it instead of the raven.

''Time for a change of pace, kill them'' ordered Wriggle

And as she wished, Megalon did. It charged energy in it's horn and released a thunderbolt of high power that struck Kanako and Okuu, knocking them against what still remained of the shrine. With the impact, that last part of it crumbled and buried both. While Okuu still had some energy, she wasn't gonna stay awake for much long.

''Great news! Now just a few more things to crush, and we'll be on our way!'' The bug stopped to look for something else to smash.

''How about me?!'' slurred the lively voice of a minute but larger than life creature: Suika Ibuki.

''Oh, an all powerful oni, I see. You ain't the big woman in town. Not no more. Everybody else is dead! I'M THE BIG WOMAN NOW!''

Suika just smiled and started growing until reaching the same size as Megalon.

''Oh...crap... .''

Suika put her fists up and let out some final words before the fight.

''You're good at talking, but that won't do you any good in a fight''

Getting into some hip boxing rythm, Megalon put it's fist up on Wriggle's orders. It moved left and right with vigor and even what seemed to be grace, contrasting with Suika's drunken stagger.

''Duck this one!'' Wriggle motioned a haymaker punch and her creature copied it.

Suika obliged with no trouble and punished her opponent's slow movement with a few bodyblows that made it flinch in pain.

''I telegraphed that'' Wriggle assured. Megalon, still fine, then proceeded to charge an uppercut. ''C'mon!''

Again Suika dodged that move, this time countering with an uppercut of her own. Making the Kaijuu stumble as the firefly expressed her shock.

''That can't be!''

In a fit of intelligence, Wriggle had Megalon do a quick sucker punch that hit Suika right in the face, leaving her open for... .

''I invented the star punch!'' She said as her champion did that very same move: a jumping spinning uppercut that almost managed to knock Suika down.

The big little oni wasn't out yet, no way. Right after recovering from that star punch (Which Wriggle did not invent), she got to strike Megalon quite a bit before he recovered and went back on the offensive with a simple jab

''Keep 'em up!''

Suika again dodged and striked her opponent in the gut with all her strength, making him stumble.

''You're too fast!''

''Your beast is pretty strong, but if you have to rely on it to fight you can't be too good of a fighter yourself'' explained Suika.

''You think you can trick me into getting off of Megalon's shoulder? As if!''

She was smart enough not to fall for such trick, but Suika had never intended that, her real plan was a simpler one that worked quite well. She just punched Wriggle away from the kaijuu's shoulder. Without someone giving orders, Megalon suffered a drop in intelligence, and his movements lost all style and grace, instead being replaced by a simple and predictable bull charge. Suika didn't have a hard time stopping the creature on it's tracks and lifting it above her head before sending it rolling down the mountain.

''No! Megalon!'' Wriggle screamed dramatically as she followed him down the way.

Coincidentally, Okuu finally passed out from being buried beneath the rubble. She would eventually wake up, but not until a few days later.


	8. Waking up in the storm

When Utsuho finally woke up, she wasn't buried anymore, she wasn't even on the mountain. Somebody had taken her control rod off and placed it near the cozy and warm bed where she had been put in.

''Uh? I know this place... .'' She yawned.

It could seem odd to some, but she didn't even question it for a second. Somehow she was in her master's mansion. Knowing this, she got up; when her feet touched the ground, she could hear the one covered in stone make a loud thump, it was still as sturdy as ever.

She picked her control rod and, as she put it back on, she could still feel a stinging sensation, a subtle yet lingering pain from the few wounds that hadn't completely healed yet.

As she walked trough the long corridors of the mansion she could hear the voice of her master, she was having a conversation with others, apparently.

Like someone walking right in in the middle of something private and only for mature adult audiences, Utsuho opened the door to the room where everyone was at without first knocking or asking and caught Satori, Orin and Cirno right in the process of doing nothing of interest. Satori was busy reading books, and Orin was having some likely non-transcendental conversation with Cirno.

''How did we get here?''

Everyone stopped to look at Okuu and Orin quickly ran up to her, with Cirno following her some steps behind.

''Okuu, you've finally woke up!''

Utsuho realized something was odd with Rin, she looked distraught but happy at the same time.

''Finally? How long have I been asleep?''

Orin hugged her avian friend tightly ''For too long, we were all worried, even Cirno''

''That's not true!'' answered Cirno in denial

''Yes it is'' assured Satori. ''She even had many opportunities to leave the mansion after helping Rin carry you here, but she didn't.''

''Well, of course I didn't. She's part of my team, so she can't slack off!''

''Rin, Cirno, Ms. Satori...thank you all.''

''I'm glad to see you well, Utsuho, even if you're planning to leave already'' Satori stated.

''I must do it, I must keep the reactor safe from all these things, I've been away from it for too long.''

''No way!'' intruded Cirno ''You and me have still work to do. We haven't got our revenge on Wriggle and that swordman''

''Oh, right, those two. Where did they go?''

''I wish I knew... .''

''I don't know where they could be, but I know somebody who surely does'' said Orin ''if you can find Aya, you'll find the others''

''Alright then, it's time to finally get our revenge, Okuu!''

''Okay, let's make it quick'' Utsuho turned to her long-time friend, the kasha ''Orin, come with us, please''

''Ya don't have to ask that, sis!'' assured Rin with a big grin on her face ''After all, I'm the only one who's been outside these last days. Thing's have changed a lot''

''Fine...you can come with us'' Cirno didn't sound entirely convinced there.

''Don't get yourselves killed, Rin'' asked Satori.

''Don't worry, Ms. Satori, I promise we won't get hurt as long as they're with me''

And no more words were exchanged, they parted on their way to find the tengu reporter.

When they arrived at the surface, Cirno and Utsuho got to see how things had changed. Gensokyo had fallen into utter chaos and madness (more madness than usual, that is), everything was a mess, with wreckage and zombies scattered all around, the skies turning red and those still alive doing their best to not get swallowed by the not-literal wave of destruction. And worst of all, the zombie fairies organized a prom, and Star Saphire got a tomato thrown at her for being considered the least smelly zombie (Yeah, she was still pretending to be a zombie).

''This place is breaking down to pieces'' said Utsuho ''If this doesn't get solved soon, nothing will stand''

''You bet it won't, sis'' agreed Rin.

''Let's focus on finding Aya now'' asked Cirno.

''And how are we going to find her?'' pondered Utsuho.

''Aya always goes where the oddest and most interesting stories take place'' stated Rin.

The ice fairy came in with an old yet brilliant idea ''Let's pick a fight with the biggest creature around, then!''

''That sounds like it'll work'' Orin aproved.

And so, they walked for a bit before finding a tough guy bar, which of course was full to the brim with tough girls and boys who where not as though. That stablishment was certainly not there before, but as far as they were concerned, it wasn't their problem. Cirno kicked the door open and with all the power of her lungs, made their presence known.

''We're looking for the crudest, thoughest, biggest fighter in this place. We're taking you down!''

From the crowd emerged a towering figure, a kappa double the height of Utsuho. She made her way towards the three girls, each stomp making the ground tremble. Her blood boiled, steam seemed to come out of her nostrils from sheer rage. It was time for a fight...but sadly, she slipped on a puddle of booze that some dunce had spilled quite some time ago and hit her head against the floor with enough force to lose consciousness.

Everyone stared silently at her until, out of the blue, somebody screamed.

''BAR FIGHT!''

And everyone started hitting eachother, with all the things that come in a bar brawl: Bottles used as weapons, chairs smashed on people, people flying out of windows...you name it. At one point, when all windows where broken, they quickly built a new one only to defenestrate one more sap.

''This ought to work'' said Rin.

''Yeah, this could make good material'' explained Aya.

''There you are!'' noticed Cirno

''I sure am''

''Alright then, tell us what you know about Wriggle''

''Wriggle, you say? She managed to get Megalon back after having lost him during a fight against Suika. Last time she was seen, she was planning to ''destroy the purple stormbringer''

''The purple stormbringer?'' Utsuho scratched her head unsure of how to take that ''Is the stormbringer purple or is the storm purple''.

''What a silly question, it's clearly both'' explained Cirno.

''Whichever of those is the right answer, I can't tell you'' admitted Aya, dissapointment on her face ''whoever that mysterious person is, I can't find any information about them, the only sure way to find out would be to follow Wriggle, but she's managing to evade me''

''But you must have some clues atleast, right? After all, you managed to find about Megalon in no time'' reasoned orin.

''That is right. From what I gathered, there is an influx of visitors who don't seem to have any way of getting inside Gensokyo, their appearances started to take place at the same time as the strange change in behavior of several residents, such as Wriggle''

The tengu reporter casually dodged a flying bottle before continuing her talk.

''Those who suffer the change in personality also tend to suddenly learn information and powers they didn't have before, this makes me think the changes are all caused by one entity who can gather information from the outside world. This leads to the most interesting clue: Munenori, the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Kanako...they are some of the victims and transported characters by this entity, and they had purple skin, a useless purple safe and purple clothes, respectively.''

''It sounds a bit farfetched, if you ask me'' said Rin.

''I imagined you might say that, but think about it. If the culprit isn't a literal force of nature, then it must be somebody who could affect people's minds, can move people from one world to another and is related to the color purple. There's somebody who fits with all of those qualities''

Aya went silent, as if expecting the gang to say the culprit's name themselves. That was clearly not what happened.

''Sorry, I have no clue who you mean'' explained Utsuho.

''I mean Yukari Yakumo, who else''

''Yukari? Alright then'' answered Okuu.

''Just ``alright?´´''

''Yes. Thanks for telling us'' She turned to the other two girls ''We should go crush her, we'll find Wriggle on the way''

''But where to find her?'' wondered Orin.

''You're not going to find her'' assured the reporter. ''You'll only manage to if she wants you to see her''

''That means we'll have to make her come just like we did with you'' Said Utsuho.

''Well said, but I can assure you from all of my years as a reporter that she's one of the hardest people to see in this land, she doesn't just show her face to anybody. If you want to call her attention, you'll have to do something really big''

''Doesn't she have friends?'' asked Rin ''Maybe finding them will help us finding her''

''Well, she seems to be in good terms with Yuyuko and with Reimu''

''Reimu?'' Utsuho knew that name, but she didn't remember where she heard it.

''Yeah, the shrine maiden who fought against us in hell after you got your nuclear powers''

''Then it's settled, let's go to the shrine!'' Ordered Cirno.

Aya cheered on them ''If you do manage to get her, I'll write about you three. That's a promise''

With Cirno leading, the trio parted on their way to the Hakurei shrine, where the great maiden with the big sleeves and the unfriendly attitude lived, apparently she had spent the previous day to search for that purple stormbringer to no avail. Rin assumed that she either hadn't been visited by Yukari since the incident or she was hiding the truth, though the first one seemed more likely to her.

Either way, they were going to enter her home and they were going to make her boundary-controlling friend come out no matter the cost.

* * *

 _Will Yukari really be the purple stormbringer? (Most likely yes, it's almost always Yukari in these stories) Will our ''heroines'' manage to get their revenge and save the day? Will Aya stop being considered a pervert who does photos of girls panties by the fans? Tune up next week for the next episode. Same webpage, same day!_


	9. Getting down and dirty

_Hey, everybody, it seems like I've done goofed. I accidentally put episode 2 here instead of the proper episode. But now, at last I've realised and fixed it. The missing episode, ''getting down and dirty'' is finally uploaded. Only now is the story truly finished. I'm sorry for this and for not realising sooner, I apologize twice. No, I apologize thrice; sorry everybody, this was a huge error from my part._

* * *

Walking on their way to the shrine they found nothing that stopped them despite all the weirdness around them. That was good for them, because even though they spoke casually, they were going with haste.

''It's awesome how only one youkai can cause all of this'' Said Utsuho. With 'awesome' she meant 'awe inspiring'...I hope.

''Even more amazing is that we're going to stop her'' argued Rin. ''Usually it's somebody like Reimu who does this, but more than a week has passed and things are just going for the worse''

''Maybe she's dead''

''No way, sis. If that were it, I wouldn't have let her soul go away so easily''

''Oh yeah, good point. Then maybe...'' Okuu pondered and pondered, but she soon put aside the question. ''I don't know, but if she doesn't do it and nobody else does it, then everything will get destroyed. The generator, Ms Satori, you...I don't want that''

''I don't want to lose you either, Okuu. That's why I'm helping ya.''

Nice as that was, their declarations of strong friendship were terminated by them arriving to the Hakurei shrine. Cirno knocked with vigor and impatience beffiting of the strongest blue haired fairy classified as number 9 (number 9, number 9) in any instrucion book. Seeing as there was no answer, Orin tried knocking.

''Hello! Are you there, Reimu?''

From inside the shrine could be heard the noise of rubble falling down, and soon enough the door opened to reveal the maiden herself.

''Hmpf, what are you doing here?'' Reimu was covered in dirt, as if she had just come back from spelunking. In fact, the interior of the shrine was covered in small stones and dirt as if somebody had been digging the ground despite everything else being untouched.

''We're looking for revenge against Wriggle'' explained Cirno.

''The three of you?''

''Yes, we're also looking for a woman called Yukari'' added Okuu.

''Yukari doesn't come here always. She only appears sometimes, when she feels like it'' by the way she said that last bit, it sounded as if she wan't exactly happy about her random surprise visits. ''She could be the one moving all this rubble into the shrine, but I haven't seen her.''

''And where is she now?''

''How am I supposed to know that?''

''There must be atleast something you know'' stated Orin.

''I'm sure you know something, you always solve this kind of problems!'' theorized Cirno.

''I have no idea, this time I didn't find anything no matter how much I flew around beating up suspicious people!''

Utsuho was shocked ''Impossible! That always works!''

''It is foolish to think of something as impossible in Gensokyo'' a mysterious muffled and distorted voice stated.

Those words were followed by a gap popping out of thin air and swallowing the trio of girls. It closed before Reimu could get in, which sadly prevented her from doing her typical main heroine duties she normally does.

The girls had been transported somewhere unknown. A dark place with an oddly familiar scent of minerals and earth (atleast for Utsuho and Orin).

''This place...I don't like it'' thought Utsuho out loud.

''And you do well in disliking it'' It was the same mysterious voice as before.

Cirno stepped forward ''Show yourself!''

''You shouldn't be so lazy, this underground passageway is a straight line'' the mockery in her tone of voice was so thick that it could be cut with a knife, and I don't mean a good knife. No, I mean one of those cheap plastic knifes that break when you try to cut anything harder than cream cheese with it...not that the quality of the knife would influence in...oh man, I'm getting sidetracked!

Cirno took that as challenge ''She might think we can't reach her, but we'll show her what happens when you anger us!''.

''Don't worry, we'll get to her soon enough'' assured Orin.

''But we can't take it easy, either'' explained Okuu.

''Did you say you can't take it easy?'' slurred an odd, round and minuscule creature who just happened to arrive there.

Her easygoing attitude and funny face made it clear that it was a yukkuri (A Reimu yukkuri to be precise), not that any of the girls would know this.

''Reimu? Is that you?'' asked Cirno.

''Of course it's me''

''But you were in the shrine when we arrived here. And what happened to your head?'' Utsuho was onto something, even if she didn't exactly know what.

''My head is good. Don't worry, follow me easy!'' the yukkuri started hopping her way through the underground passage.

Of course, since it was a straight line with no chance for detours, they ended up opting to play along and follow the yukuri until -if they were lucky- they found the ''purple stormbringer'' herself.

''And how are you alive if you are only a head with no body or heart?'' asked Utsuho.

''I don't know, miss, but I don't think about it. Everything is fine anyways, so why worry?''

''I guess you're right'' Okuu turned to her friends to whisper to them ''That can't be the real Reimu''

They kept walking, and walking, sometimes floating a few inches above the floor to change the pace, but mostly walking until they reached a small encampment. From every nook and crany, a small head similar to a resident girl from gensokyo came out hopping with excitement to meet the humanoid girls, it was a sight to behold. They all gathered around the gang, eyes open wide, curiously examining them with those silly smiles, making that caracteristical ''yu'' of theirs.

The little creatures were overfilled with joy. Cirno, on the other hand, was feeling quite the opposite. Those bouncing heads seemed a bit too happy around her, and soon enough the poor ice fairy had a Sunny Milk yukkuri affectionately rubbing her cheek on her.

Cirno tried shoving her away, but she wouldn't budge. And if that wasn't bad enough, more yukkuris joined in the fun, jumping on the fairy until she was no longer visible under the mountain of cheerful heads.

Time passed and there was no reaction from Cirno.

''Maybe we should help her'' proposed the raven.

''It's not like she can die...but she does need hel-''

Rin got interrupted by Cirno freeing herself in a feat of strength and anger. Blowing away all the yukkuris and chasing them while they joyfully hopped away from her, laughing. To those bouncing heads it was all just a fun and friendly game they were playing.

''I think we are going to spend a bit of time in here, sis''

''But we don't have that time!''

And with that said, Utsuho went up to Cirno and grabbed her by the wrist.

''Let go! I'm not done with them!''

''Sorry, but we can't lose more time''

''What a pleasant surprise seeing you here'' a mocking voice stated.

The three girls turned their attention towards the voice to see for the third time (or second, in Orin's case) that smug fictional interpretation of a Sengoku period swordman: Munenori Ya...well, you probably knew already before I said it.

The thing is he wasn't talking to any of the three, it seemed like he hadn't even realized about their presence. His words were actually meant for a lonely Rin yukkuri standing her ground against the crazed man.

''You won't harm my friends! I'll kill you myself first!''

''Ha! What are you waiting for, then?''

For all her barking (or should I say hissing?), the yukkuri didn't really pose any threat to Munenori. The little creature was about to fight a hopeless battle. Lucky for her, Okuu interrupted the fight with a well aimed fist at Yagyu's face, which sent him spinning in the air until he hit a wall far away.

''Don't touch her!''

It was on like Donkey Kong, and Diddy Kong, and Chunky Kong, and pretty much the rest of the Kong Klan.

Munenori slowly walked back to were he was before, his swords scraping the floor all the way ''How funny, I imagined we would meet again. Come to fight again?''

''I'm tired of your jokes''

''Am I angering you? Want me to go there and fight you?'' Munenori broke into laughter yet again, but it was cut short by a great ball of fire crashing against him and exploding. No yukkuris where harmed, but there was no way a normal human being could have survived.

He was no mere human, though, even before whatever made him purple. As the giant sphere blew up, he was already behind Utsuho. The girl got just enough time to hear him before he kicked her in the back of the head, making her fall.

Cirno and Orin made their entrance. The kasha managed to strike him with a few projectiles, he retaliated by summoning two clones of himself to focus on them. Cirno stopped their attack by freezing their legs, giving Orin room to shoot them down.

Utsuho got back up and kicked Munenori just once before he moved several feet away in the blink of an eye. He pointed at them with his sword and zombie fairies started coming out of nowhere to munch on them. Seeing the girls surprised by the lack of birds, he decided to explain...and with explain I mean gloat.

''Since the day I joined Yukari, I've become even stronger. All I had to do was make her think I was on her side''

Despite being a bit more dangerous than his birds, the zombie fairies ended up vanishing upon taking a few hits, but Munenori was already one step beyond, using them as a distraction to catch Cirno off guard and chop her up like hamburger. His closest second target was Orin, who shot him away with some quick bullets.

Once again he summoned the very same zombie fairies. Rin took care of them like the previous time while Utsuho made use of her simple thinking and just shot a laser beam right through the swordman's chest while he was busy commanding the fairies.

He looked at the gaping hole in his body, dark blood gushed out of it with enough speed that the whole place could sink in it in...a week or so. He didn't care about it, he just shrugged.

''It'll take more than that to take me down, I'm afraid'' And he got his face covered in a thick layer of ice that blinded him, which ironically made him lose his cool.

''I should be the one saying that'' It was Cirno, she was back!

''You are alive?!'' he shouted as he ripped away the ice. He most likely was the only one surprised by this, though.

''Of course, you can't kill the strongest! (Atleast for long...)''

With his blood boiling (atleast the one that wasn't leaking) he got rid of the ice on his face expecting to face that pesky ice fairy, but to his surprise he saw an Okuu uncomfortably close to him, as in so close that she could crush his neck with her free hand.

His quick draw skills failed him in that crucial moment, the bloodloss numbed his reaction speed. Utsuho grabbed him by the neck and smashed him against the ground with enough strength to break it. She then dragged him at high speed, all the way to a wall far away from anyone else.

He tried to escape her grip in vain as she started glowing brigther and brigther, finishing it with a big boom. After all that, his charred body wasn't gonna get up anymore.

''Uwaaaah!'' yelled in awe the Rin yukkuri ''you didn't take it easy, but you took him down anyways!''

''It's nothing'' said Utsuho. She meant it.

An Okuu yukkuri came hopping at high speed followed by a aSatori yukkuri.

''Orin! You're alright!''

''Yesh, I'm fine because Okuu saved me from that bad man!''

The three little yukkuris gazed at the real Utsuho in adoration, as if looking at a heroine of legend. That makes sense, I guess, she was their heroine after all. Utsuho, on the other hand, didn't get why they were acting so awkward all of a sudden.

''Uh...'' She slowly walked backwards until she was back with Cirno and Rin.

''What got into you, sis? You just jumped into the battle without saying a thing.''

''I don't know...I guess she looked like you and I got carried away.''

''Well, what matters is we gave that fool what he deserved'' Cirno said.

''Yes we did, but It's not over until we stop Yukari'' Explained Utsuho.

So they continued on their way trough the straight line of a tunnel, onwards to find Yukari and stop all of this madness for good.

As they left, they could see all of the little bouncing heads cheering on them, jumping in joy for saving one of them. They had gained their eternal gratitude, it seemed. They didn't have time to waste with celebration, though, so they left without paying too much attention.

But...¡Munenori wasn't completely dead yet! Somehow, despite being beaten senseless and suffering third degree burns on all of his body from an explosion, he was still breathing. How much does it take to kill this guy, exactly?

He laughed...when does he not laugh? It was a weak laugh tough. It was getting pretty hard to breath for him after that fight.

''That...that was...nothing'' he said as he tried to get up on his feet.

''He's still alive!'' gasped the Utsuho Yukkuri

''Rip his guts out!'' ordered the Satori one.

And they all pounced on him to finish him off while he was worn down and uncapable of defending himself. What they did to him wasn't pretty, and I can assure you that was the last anybody in or out of Gensokyo ever saw of Munenori Yagyu


	10. Mama's got a brand new gun

While they were getting closer to Yukari with each step, they also got more and more impatient. It was hard to tell exactly how much time had passed since they left the yukkuri village, but it was clearly a long time.

''How much longer do we have left?'' wondered Cirno.

''How are we going to know that?'' replied Rin.

''Don't you live underground?''

''Yes, but not on this underground'' explained Okuu.

Of course, no two undergrounds were the same. Their old underground had a city with a market, while the one they were currently in had a yukkuri village; their underground had a unicorn oni, and the other one had... .

''You've murdered my shikigami!'' Ran Yakumo's anguished voice echoed through the cave, followed by her half-hearted warcry.

''Sounds like a big fight is coming.'' Rin stated.

She was right, not long after, they were greeted by a cry of ''one in the pipe'' and a rocket coming from far away that barely missed them.

As they looked in the direction the missile came from, they saw an imposing figure standing. That old foxy youkai, now 10 feet tall, with a machinegun and rocket launcher hybrid replacing her right arm and small tentacles all around her body.

''This is the end of you!'' she aimed her heavy machinegun at the girls and let the bullets rain down.

Cirno quickly created a wall of ice that stopped the bullets, saving them the trouble of dodging them as usual. Since the machinegun seemed to be no use, Ran vanished in front of their very eyes.

''Where'd she go?'' wondered Cirno looking side to side frantically. Meanwhile, Okuu tried shooting in random directions just in case.

Orin was about to say something, but she got interrupted by Ran appearing right in front of her and doing one limp looking slap that managed to send her flying back a good distance.

Despite that suprirse attack, the other two took the smartest curse of actions by simply unloading a barrage of bullets on her face while she picked her next target. Before she could hit anything else, she kneeled in pain.

''You're ruining everything!'' She got back on her feet and dissapeared again. Her voice trailed off. ''My shikigami, come out, don't let them do this!''

''We can't loose track of her'' said Rin before being tackled by a roasted chicken walking on the bones of what once was its feet.

The feline turned avian meal hit with all it's might, driven by bloodlust. But attitude isn't all, and she soon learned that when Utsuho grabbed her an sent her flying by kicking her like a football.

''Let's go.''

And they kept chasing Ran. Atleast until she came back with a vengeance, trying to ram Rin. She failed, leaving her surrounded by her three enemies. So, seeing as the situation hadn't turned as she had expected, she improvised with a deadly spin attack.

''Ha ha ha! Just what I planned'' she stated, trying to save face.

She wasn't the only one who could improvise, as you know. While the three girls got hit, Orin managed to hang onto Ran's machinegun-arm throughout the whole thing. Once the fox stopped spinning, Orin set one foot on the ground and another on Ran's face as she pulled the arm cannon.

Soon enough, Ran's arm made a loud crack and she screamed in response. Orin was forced to make a hasty fallback while shooting bullets at Ran's face to avoid being swiped by another of those slaps.

''One in the pipe.'' Said the kitsune as she pressed a few buttons on the rocket launcher and took aim.

Orin didn't break a sweat with that, she dodged the rocket, dodging being a common thing in fights on Gensokyo and all. Ran on the other hand broke her shooting arm, with the recoil from shooting the rocket, the cannon was sent flying backwards, living just a not-so-scary stump. She had been, shall we say, outfoxed.

''Now you're starting to piss me off.'' And she flew away again. This time, she grabbed that piece of poultry that once was Chen and threw her at the trio. ''My shikigami, attack!''

But Cirno just froze it in mid air, avoiding any further brawl with it.

Just 30 feet away from them, Ran picked a syringe from some pocket that only the gods know about its location and jammed it on her chest. She looked at her arm expectatingly, but nothing happened.

''Oh, yeah. Healing syringes don't grow limbs back... .'' She groaned.

So as a last resort, she tried to do one last charge at them, which was stopped by Rin shooting her in the face and throwing the frozen chicken at her face.

She got knocked down in slow motion, finishing it with a big boom when she hit the floor.

''Woah'' Said Cirno.

''We must be getting closer, let's keep going'' hurried Okuu, unfazed by the explosion.

The cave didn't go on for much longer. It just took them around a minute of flying in a straight line without interruptions before they reached a gigantic metal gate.

''It's a pretty safe bet to say she must be behind that big door'' Said Orin.

The voice of a certain firefly replied ''She's there.''

Cirno jumped in surprise ''It's you!''

But Wriggle ignored her, in fact she seemed to ignore everyone.

''She's right there...she'll pay.''

''Hey, don't ignore me!''

''I'LL KILL HER!'' She suddenly turned around and lunged towards Cirno.

Cirno shot a big icicle at her, she didn't even try avoiding it, so she was sent back until she hit the door and fell face-first on the ground. She tried getting up only to fall again. It took her two more tries before she managed to stand up. She looked completely hollow, her eyes weren't really looking anywhere, and her body twitched without control. The girl once known as Wriggle was most likely gone foverever, leaving just a crazed animal, a mockery of her former self.

Okuu, Cirno and Orin weren't going to cross the gate without a fight.


	11. So big, so angry, so about to smash you

''Kill or be killed!'' spat out wriggle, along with all the saliva accumulated in her mouth. Gross.

She jumped at Cirno in an attempt at biting off her jugular. The ice fairy swiftly dodged it and hit her with a short-range spreading icicle shot.

She fell flat on her face again, and she had just as much trouble as before getting back on her feet. She changed targets, opting to attack Orin next. She didn't really try anything different from doing another charge, so she got knocked back down just as easy as before.

This time, she didn't try getting up instantly. She actually stood there, inmobile and silent. The seconds she spent there felt like minutes of awkard silence, nobody moved an inch or blinked, expecting her to attack a fourth time, yet nothing of the sort happened. Instead, she started laughing, a weak and sad laugh muffled by Wriggle's face being pressed against the dirt.

Her sorrow slowly turned into anger, and eventually she stopped laughing altogether and started punching the ground as she mustered all of her determination to get back up.

She staggered all the way to reach Okuu and punched her as she screamed in rage. Her punches did nothing, and it wasn't a matter of Utsuho being resilient, she just couldn't do any damage, on the way to the gate her body lost most of its energy, if it weren't for her hate for the Purple Stormbringer, she wouldn't have been able to get up the first time.

That's when she suddenly stopped, as if she had come to a horrible realisation. Still twitching but with her eyes actually looking at what surrounded her, she started backing away until she was against the giant door. She fell down on her knees and futitely tried to get further away from the other girls, as if she wasn't completely aware that she was against the gate.

''What am I doing?! Get away from me!''

''What's wrong with you?'' Asked Rin, not meaning to sound rude even if it might look like it.

''Why?'' Wriggle asked, she clearly sounded distraught.

Okuu tried talking to her, asking her what she was talking about, but the noise of a certain kaiju got the attention of everyone.

From beneath the ground rose Megalon,despite its barely expressive face, its murderous intent was very obvious.

''Megalon! It's you!'' Wriggle started getting up again by using the gate as support. Her spirits were lifted a bit by the appearance of a fellow insect. ''I thought that disgusting woman had killed you after she separated us.''

Megalon gave Wriggle a quick glance. It looked like she was smiling at it, but it wasn't easy to make out her expression for Megalon, not that it cared.

The giant bug just shot a napalm bomb at her. She fell down on the ground, where Megalon just blasted her with several lasers. The sound of the explosions masked her final screams.

Megalon then stomped hard on the ground and let its characteristic scream as it revealed a purple aura before diving into the earth again with its drill arms.

The three girls looked around them as usual, and soon enough they felt the rumble.

''Damnit, fly away!'' Said Utsuho. Of course, they did just that, barely avoiding the giant bug. Megalon tried stopping them by spinning as it came out of the ground, managing to strike Okuu.

She fell down on the ground where Megalon attempted to stomp on her much like one would do with a spider (so there's no irony here, we all know spiders aren't bugs), Utsuho shot a stream of nuclear energy at the sole of Megalon's foot, knocking it back. It would of had fallen on its back, but it stopped its fall by piercing the ground with the drill arms.

Megalon was far from finished, and it proved that by harrasing Utsuho with napalm bombs, forcing her to retreat. Then it got back up and, feeling someone was sneaking on its rear, turned around, foiling Orin's surprise attack. The giant bug tried to pierce her with its giant drills, Orin managed to back away just in time, barely dodging the drills that went through the earth. Megalon then mustered its strength by lifting the ground below Rin's feet, sending her flying along with all the rubble that fell on top of her right after.

While the kasha struggled to get out of that big pile of rubble, Megalon turned around again. Okuu was there, flying all the way to the humongous beast; she kicked it in the belly with her elephant foot,making it cringe in pain. She followed by shooting a big energy ball at its face; the explosion sent both of them several feet back.

Megalon, not one to stop at anything short of death, blew a hole in the ground and jumped up, digging through the ''ceiling''. Right after, it barged right in, knocking her down the pit which the giant creature filled in with rubble formed by all the digging, of course.

The two girls would eventually manage to get out of there, no doubt, but in the meantime Megalon would take out the ice fairy, but she was motivated to do the same to it. Megalon kept Cirno from closing in by spamming lasers and bombs from a distance, the kaiju knew that she couldn't really die, so the strategy was to wear her down and make her lose any will to fight.

Cirno being Cirno, she managed to dodge most of the stuff thrown at her, with the times she was hitting only managing to slow her down briefly. All that mindless shooting came to a halt when she froze a bomb in mid air and grabbed it, carrying it on her way to Megalon's face.

Megalon wasn't okay with that, so it started shooting lasers at Cirno, in an attempt at hitting her or atleast breaking the ice to make the bomb explode. Cirno achieved dodging everything, despite some close calls, and as she threw the thing at its face, the big bug put its arms in front of its face to shield it. It stopped the napalm bomb from blowing its face up, but the impact and explosion made it flinch, uncovering its face in the proccess. This was Cirno's chance.

She covered herself in ice and jumped into Megalon's belly by going through its mouth. Upon realizing what had happened, the giant monster groaned in the same way somebody does when they have to go to bed early for the first day of class before it started spasming with each explosion caused by the bombs inside of it. Of course, it all finished with a big kaboom, the kind of big kaboom that should be written all in bold and caps, but that's not happening because it's considered bad writing.

When the smoke cleared out, the only one standing there was Cirno. She had achieved revenge as she claimed she would do.

The other two ended up getting out of the rubble. Cirno didn't help them...okay, she did help a bit, not that she said anything about it. Either way, the girls were out and the monster dead.

When they got to the door, they took a moment to look at the crater where once stood Wriggle Nightbug. She got slowly prived of her personality, of what made her herself, and when she seemed to start regaining a bit of her mind, she got killed without any dignity; a fate that not even the lowest of youkai deserve, if I may give my opinion.

Utsuho and company didn't have any time for mourning her, in fact, they wouldn't have mourned her loss even if they had the time. For them, her death was kind of a shock (Even for Orin, since she couldn't carry a body that had been sublimated...in the chemistry sense of the word, of course), but they weren't even that close as to cry her loss or anything(the closest one was Cirno, and even she was just an acquaintance at most).

Their eyes were not set in the past that now were Wriggle and Megalon, but in the very close future that hid behind the giant gate.

''Let's open this door!'' Said Utsuho before doing just that with a kick.

Nothing but darkness loomed inside. Orin tried to create fire to dissipate the dark, but no matter how many flames she set ablaze, it was impossible to see.

''Well, we've come too far. Some silly darkness isn't going to stop us!'' stated Cirno.

And with no more words, they made their way towards the unknown. The Purple Stormbringer awaited their arrival, the time for the final battle was almost there.

* * *

 _Sorry everyone(and with everyone, I mean the few who read this. Don't worry, I'm not delusional or anything), I know this episode was especially late, but I lost my connection to the internet for a long time, so I didn't get the chance to upload anything or to warn about it. Hopefully the next one won't take so long._


	12. A change of pace

Upon entering the room, the door closed by itself and the darkness vanished, not that it revealed much. Looking around them they saw nothing, just a swirling vortex of a mist composed of several shades of purple as far as the eye could see. It was almost as dull as the narration in this story...oops, sorry about that aside comment.

The only element that stood out in that mess of a 'place' was a large structure in the center of it all. A stone monument depicting Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya and Sanae all kneeling down, devoid of any honor, pitifully looking down with the most pathetic expressions of defeat in their faces. On their shoulders they carried a gigantic throne were a veronica purple shade was sitting with a gleefully evil smirk. The jolly figure got up from the throne and jumped down to reveal their identity as none other than...The Purple Man from the Five Nights at Freddy's saga! Bet you didn't expect that one, huh?

And with good reason if you haven't, cause he had nothing to do with all of that, and he quickly was sent flying away by a highspeed locomotive that came run amok like the steaming metal beast that it was, and much like the purple guy, it dissapeared as fast as it came.

''Enough nonsense'' Yukari emerged from a gap in the 'ground'.

''I admit it, I am actually impressed that you made it this far. Almost as much as I am that you haven't been affected by my influence.''

''So you're the one who's behind all this... .'' said Okuu.

''Since you've made such a big effort to get to me, I guess you deserve an explanation.''

Yukari slowly walked from one side to the other of the 'room' without making any eye contact, stopping to turn around at the end of each sentence.

''Change is an inevitable thing in the world, without it existence would soon become stale and not worth living.''

''Each one of us changes the world that surrounds us to some degree; teaching somebody the answer to a riddle and destroying a city are both in essence the same action despite how different they are, they both constitute change.''

''To not change anything at all, not even a tiny molecule of the universe, is something impossible; everything that exists, has existed or will exist causes changes.''

''Even things that don't really exist can change the world, and there is nothing that can be done about it. It seems to be out of our control.''

''But that also changed when I was hit by a brick. A purple brick that gave me a new point of view''

She finally stopped walking and turned her attention directly to her guests.

''It made me realize the real importance of change, with my power I was the one who had to change it all. To change not just Gensokyo or this world, but every single existence into one that fit my visions. Every single person would act not as themselves, but as I thought they had to act.''

''Ugh, you're making my head hurt with all that complicated talk and all that 'change'!'' complained Cirno

''Of course, I forgot...you haven't come to talk, have you?''

''No, we've come t-'' Cirno lost all breath to talk from a sudden stop sign hitting her gut.

''But you're all talk, ironically.''

Utsuho shot a solar beam at Yukari. She just scoffed, without moving from her chair she waved her hand and called in a wormhole to swallow it.

''Reckless. Weak. Foolish.'' Another wormhole opened in front of Okuu ''Worthless'' and it promptly returned the beam to her.

''I will give you the honor of a quick death since you refuse to change.'' Yukari sat down in the air and began to float. She pulled a spellcard out and the purple mist changed to show giant silhouttes of her. As she flew around, she started throwing yellow spheres that exploded in mid air, two at a time, with one spreading bullets in a square pattern and the other releasing a stream of bullets that homed in on Rin upon blowing up.

Rin dodged as best as she could while trying to get a hit on Yukari, but that crazy woman just wouldn't get hit.

After a while of evading the projectiles, Rin started getting good enough to do it without being fully concentrated about it, giving her some time to signal Utsuho and Cirno to come up with a plan to hit her.

Cirno charged up an attack, while the raven joined her feline pal at trying to shoot Yukari down. Even being two, Yukari was not getting hit anytime soon, and they sure weren't going to tire her out.

They kept at it, seemingly doing nothing to her. Yukari kept moving without any care in the world, avoiding projectiles, until... .

''Now!'' Screamed Cirno as she jumped into the bullets and unleashed her freezing powers.

She froze a few bullets around her, and those bullets in turn froze more bullets around them, which in turn froze even more. This chain reaction ended up freezing almost every bullet,and Yukari was just in the right spot to be completely surrounded by the ice. She was caught off-guard, the ice shattered in front of her, knocking her out of her spellcard.

''A minor setback, you wont avoid death for much longer'' Yukari pulled out her second spellcard. This time she shot three spheres at a time, along with the center one she also released hexagrams that shot a swirl of bullets.

The temperature was rising, those projectiles were made of fire, ice wasn't going to work anymore.

''Damn, I hate fire!'' Cirno complained.

''All these bullets, they're too much of a bother.'' stated Utsuho before pulling a spellcard of her own.

Yukari stopped her spellcard all of a sudden to knock the card out of Okuu's hand through a gap with her parasol.

''Just what do you think you're doing!'' Yukari's voice sounded harsh, bemusement clear in its tone.

Orin grabbed the spellcard in mid-air while Yukari was unaware and waited for her to resume her pattern before raising it in an attempt at goading her into repeating the same trick with the gap.

Things went just as planned. The moment that gap opened in front of her, Rin made use of those feline reflexes of her and threw the card, succesfully poking an eye. Yukari stopped right on her tracks for a fraction of a second, enough time for Rin to unleash a barrage of those big glowing orbs at that old mean youkai.

The stormbringer got hit and carried away by the huge flow of bullets. Rin stopped once she couldn't see her anymore, and quickly flew up as she heard a gap open behind her. She dodged a bullet there (Ha!), but she didn't see Yukari's foot stomping her face.

''You sure are persistent.'' The stormbringer scoffed, beggining to lose her cool. ''Some things need to stay as they are, but you are not one of them, so stop insulting me with your existence!''

Okuu tried shooting her down, Yukari evaded and started slashing at her by using her umbrella as a circular saw. Utsuho blocked with her rod, but the umbrella soon started cutting through it, causing the control rod to shine and spark in a less than pleasant manner, so the raven grabbed Yukari by the collar of her dress (or whatever you call that thing she wears) and gave her a good ol' headbutt, which she quickly answered by violently pushing Okuu back with another traffic sign called forth by a gap.

She was about to say something, or use another spellcard, or maybe both at once, but Rin, quicker than a bullet train stopped that by surrounding her with four walls of bullets. Cirno chimed in just as quick and froze those bullets in such a way that Yukari's hands were rendered temporarily unmobilized. Okuu took her chance, pulled her hand out of the crontol rod and threw it (not the hand, the rod, of course) at the block of ice. On impact, the whole thing exploded in the most espectacular of ways.

It wasn't over, and they knew it. They reacted before Yukari could counter, with Cirno shooting ice at her to pester her while Orin sneaked in from behind and held grabbed her, letting her at the mercy of the raven and the fairy. The two them started hitting her with all what they had, shooting, punching, kicking...it almost looked like something you'd see in a dark alley rather than in a fight in gensokyo.

Things seemed to be coming to an end until Yukari opened a gap behind Orin to swallow them both. They came out of another gap, far away from the rest. In the blink of an eye, she used again her umbrella as cutting instrument. In one swing she left a big cut all across her waist. Blood started pouring out, not in dramatic or over the top way like with Munenori, but it was obviously a deep wound.

Utsuho stared in shock before closing her fists and letting out an incomprehensible roar.

She charged at Yukari and kicked her right in the face, making her face hit the 'ground'. Of course, she didn't stop there, she started punching her while still on the ground, screaming all the way.

Yukari, just as determined to win as Utsuho was of reducing her to a puddle of blood, opened a gap behind them to summon a train to run over her and the unaware raven.

Cirno stepped in and started creating a great barrier of ice on the speeding train's way. The metal beast smashed its way through several layers of ice before starting to lose momentum, the ice fairy was forced to make use of all her power to stop it from hitting anyone, but she managed to make it stop in its non-existent track.

That didn't go unnoticed by Okuu, who turned to look behind her, giving Yukari the chance to punch her and get up.

''You fools! If I knew you'd cause all this trouble, I would've had killed you at the beggining. But the kasha wasn't a priority, and I had planned on using you, Utsuho...but your point of view wasn't altered enough, and at the end you managed to stay as you were before the brick hit you.''

She turned towards Cirno. ''Atleast for that I must thank you...goodbye.''

''What?!'' Both Okuu and Cirno asked.

Yukari took out a spellcard, ready for another attack. Lasers started filling the room...and soon dissapeared as she collapsed from all the damage she took.

''Damn...is it really going to end this way? To die with my plans unfulfilled...right where it all began.'' She started coughing blood ''Well, actually, it ends in the underground below it.''

And with that odd choice of last words, she imploded as a giant gap formed inside of her, its size enough to engulf the gang by surprise.

The battle was over, but everything was still a mess. There was one last thing to do for our protagonists.


	13. The End

Utsuho was first to open her eyes. Again nothing but darkness. A soft but constant hum filled the air. Everything was concealed in black but her and her friends.

''Orin, Cirno'' she nudged them to wake up.

Cirno let out a small groan and got up, Orin yawned and opened her eyes.

Okuu sighed in relief ''You're both okay... .''

''Of course I am, you should know that I can't be taken down!'' replied Cirno.

''Can you get up?'' Utsuho asked Orin

''Yes, don't worry.'' she struggled to get on her feet. She stood true to her word and got up. ''But while this wound heals I don't think I can get in another fight for now''

''We don't have anyone else to beat.'' said Cirno ''That old youkai was the last one''

''It seems so. But it doesn't seem like it has fixed anything.''

''It looks even worse than before.'' added Okuu ''there's nothing left here.''

''Actually, this isn't Gensokyo''

''What?! How do you know that?!'' Cirno pondered.

''Because there's a big portal behind you and Okuu, and the cave where we fought Yukari is visible in it.''

Both Cirno and Utsuho turned around and saw the great hole, just like Rin had said.

''Oh, I guess I should have noticed that'' said Okuu

Cirno agreed ''Yeah...this is a bit embarassing.''

''And it's not the only portal.'' continued Rin ''I think I see a few more in the distance.''

''Let's all walk in straight line to see what's in there.''

The fairy disagreed. ''How's that gonna help us?''

''Maybe we can find something to fix things, after all Yukari was the one to cause all of this.''

''That's a bit odd, but it actually makes sense! I say we do that'' said Orin.

They started walking in a straight line. From time to time, they stopped so one of them could get inside a gap and look around for something to bring Gensokyo back to how it was before this whole story. They found several worlds unrelated to theirs, with characters who had no connection to Gensokyo and their own separate history. Yet none of them were of any help.

But trough perseverance, they eventually found a gap through which they could see the parking lot of a mall by the name of 'Twin Pine Mall'.

''I'll go in'' Said Utsuho.

At the other side, in the parking lot, she saw a man in a white jumpsuit with a young boy in a red vest who carried a video camera with him. The man held a remote controller with which he moved a rather nice looking car.

''If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit.''

Pressing some stuff in the remote, he made the car's back wheels spin to build up momentum. With each passing second the mph of the car raised, until the man let the car go towards him and the boy at high speeds. As it got closer to them, currents of lightning formed around it, and eventually it vanished in thin air.

The man was overjoyed, stating that 'Einstein' was the first time traveller in history. Not much longer the car came back. It was clear to Utsuho that she had found a time travelling machine.

As she thought about how would she use the car to solve things, the boy and him kept talking about the car and doing their stuff. The man changed something from inside the machine, but Okuu didn't really have any idea what all of that was about. Eventually she stopped her train of thought when she heard the man scream.

''Who do you think?! The lybians!''

Two men in a van who didn't look friendly at all arrived, with the one who wasn't driving shooting at them from the window.

That's when Okuu intervened. She jumped in front of the van. The vehicle let out a loud a screech as the terrorists stopped in their tracks, staring in shock at the birdwoman aiming what looked like an arm-cannon at them. With one blast from her control rod, they were disintegrated.

She didn't stop to say anything or even look at the two men she had saved, she was there just for the car. Mustering all her strengh, she lifted the thing above her head before she started carrying it on her shoulder.

She flew her way back into the gap. In the eyes of Marty and Doc, she popped out of existence. Nobody in Hill Valley seemed capable of seeing the giant hole.

Back in the nothingness, Okuu made her entrance by dropping the car on its four wheels and landing on top of it. ''I've found what we were looking.''

''Is that...a car?'' asked Rin.

''The front says DMC. I got if from a man with odd hair.''

''And what does it do?'' Cirno asked.

''It can go back in time.''

''No way!''

''Yes it does. Let's get out of here and use it.''

''Looks like a good idea.'' said Orin. ''We can go back in time before Yukari started everything and stop the brick from hitting her head.''

''What are we waiting for, then? Let's end this!'' shouted Utsuho as she lifted the DeLorean again.

''Yeah, let's go without wasting time!'' replied a clearly motivated Cirno.

They went back on their footsteps as fast as they could and went through the gap to Gensokyo. They broke their way through the ceiling until they arrived to the surface and let the DeLorean touch the ground. Everything around them looked a bit worse than when they started walking through Yukari's lair, the world seemed to be completely breaking apart, but the girls did not care; The girls got in the car, with Utsuho taking the steering wheel.

''Alright...I'm not too sure how to do this, but I think we need to get to 80 miles of speed to travel in time''

''Geez, all this stuff is confusing. I think these numbers are important to travel in time.'' theorized Cirno.

''Yes they are'' explained Rin. ''I think it's easier than it looks. We probably just have to set the date we want to go to... .

Both her an Orin started fiddling with the numbers until things were completely right. If they were correct, they would travel to the day Yukari began acting crazy and would stop her from being hit by that brick.

Okuu tried the controls to figure out which pedal made the car go faster and wich one made it go slower. Once she thought she understood, she pushed the pedals to the metal until she built enough speed to let the car go at full throttle. Before she could think about what would happen, the whole group got blinded by a quick flashing light. When they opened their eyes, everything was back to normal.

Good old Gensokyo, back like they knew it. It was their job to stop it from breaking down into chaos and destruction. Somewhere around them, the brick could fall on Yukari's head at any moment, if it hadn't done so already.

''Eyes open wide'' suggested Orin ''Look out for any sign of... .''

''Look over there!'' Cirno screamed, pointing at the brick flying through the sky.

''Target locked!'' Utsuho shot a big fireball with her third eye that blasted the brick to kingdom come (or being more literal, it vaporized it).

It was very convenient that they arrived just in time and at the right place to see that purple brick, but they weren't complaining, because it made their job that much easier. Their mission was complete, but they felt something odd. Something didn't feel right...something inside of them. Since they had one last thing to check out, they didn't give it much thought and went on the opposite direction the brick was flying to to find out the culprit of all this plot.

They didn't walk too much, or maybe it didn't feel like a long walk to them. Either way, in classical Touhou fashion, they finally found the culprit...again. That is to say, the culprit behind the madness of the culprit of everything else (Wow!).

It was...Cirno. Yeah, she was there, with those three pesky fairies of light who she shares that odd relationship that switched back and forth from friends to enemy like the direction of the breeze.

''Wow, I guess you do have a good throwing hand!'' said Luna Child.

The Cirno from the past folded her arms as if to emphasize her coolness. ''I'm not just the best at fighting.''

Okuu stood there. It took her a bit of time for her the gears in her brain to start spinning, but everyone waited for her reaction of shock.

''WHAT?!'' She grabbed the Cirno from the past by the sides of the head as if she was a ball.

''You did this?!'' She shouted at Cirno from her present.

''No I didn't!''

''But you just said you threw it!''

''I didn't say that!''

''Of course not, I mean the you from the past! And she's also you!''

''What's all of this about?'' Intervened Star Sapphire.

Okuu sent her flying away with a single kick, not even bothering to adress her.

''It's true you didn't say anything, Cirno'' said Rin, ''but everything points at you throwing that purple brick. Maybe you just forgot.''

''She didn't'' Interrupted the Cirno from the past ''It was me!''

''You sure?'' asked the kasha, not completely serious.

''Yes, I did it. Not that faker!'' She pointed at the Cirno from the present.

''Me, a faker?''

''Yes, you're not fooling anyone.''

''You're the fool! I am as Cirno as Cirno can be!''

''Stop arguing, it won't do us any good.'' Orin told them.

Luna Child agreed ''It'd be nice if somebody told us what is happening.''

''We got two Cirnos, so we got double the stupid now. Too much for the world to handle.'' assumed Sunny Milk.

''You're saying they're going to fight to bring balance back to the world?''

''That's not what I wanted to say, but it sounds smarter!''

''I don't know, it's a bit silly''

''You two shut up.'' The two Cirnos ordered as they struggled to get away from Okuu's and Orin's hold to reach the fairies of light.

Okuu wasn't gonna let Cirno get away, not until she heard all she had to say.

''Where did you get that purple brick you threw?''

''We just found it in a pile of bricks'' explained Luna Child ''we painted it purple so we could know it was ours.''

''I painted it myself!'' Proudly admitted Sunny Milk ''I wanted it red, but since everyone else wanted a different color, I painted it purple so none of us got what we wanted''.

''Let me go now!'' Cirno from the past kept struggling in vain.

Utsuho didn't do or say anything to her. She just quietly stared at her eyes, time seemed to freeze. But she couldn't hold on to her forever. Eventually she lost her grip on the fairy as her body started to vanish. So did Cirno's and Orin's.

''What's going on?!'' Okuu yelled confused.

Her feline friend answered ''Well, by stopping the brick from hitting Yukari, we have changed the course of actions that lead to us going on an adventure. So, in a way, we can't exist here.''

''Oh...damn, I didn't think about that''.

''Well, it's not like we had another way. It was this or leaving everything broken.''

''This is not the end.'' Cirno assured. ''We're going to pop back without a scratch, I bet it.''

''It's not unlikely. I mean, the you from the past isn't dissapearing.''

They finally vanished completely, leaving no trace of their heroic act, except in the terrible memory of a few fairies.

On the next day, Okuu was guarding the reactor core, like always. Nothing interesting used to happen, but she didn't mind, if nothing happened it meant no foreign substances invaded the reactor, and that was her main concern on her job.

But her little nuclear mind was in for a surprise. That day, on her head fell something, or more precisely someone. It was a little blue fairy, she looked familiar.

''Ow, what a fall. I can't believe I fell for a trick like that again.'' her head was spinning from the impact, unlike Okuu's, whose thick skull left her almost unfazed by the impact.

Utsuho reacted intantly. She aimed her control rod at the fairy. ''Foreign substance detected.''

Cirno looked at the raven and recognized her: she had been in this very situation before, back when Marisa fooled her into jumping inside, but there was also something else she couldn't exactly recall.

''Oh no, not this place again!'' Said Cirno.

Recollection rushed through Utsuho's mind, memories of events she didn't remember ever happening. Of course, she was never had the best memory, but this time she had very good reasons to not remember it. It had never happened in her life, not anymore at least. Yet, it all felt so real.

She lowered her control rod. ''Cirno, just leave, I'm busy working.''

Cirno stared at her baffled. ''Okay, I'll leave. But not because you tell me to, I just don't like this heat.''

She left without another word.

Later that day, Okuu talked about this with Orin.

''I also remember some of those things, sis. I'm not sure what it could mean.''

''I don't think those are false memories caused by dreams'' said Satori. ''but I would remember it myself if zombies tried breaching into the house.''

''Maybe...maybe we have lived those things?'' wondered Okuu.

''Some of your memories take place in the future.'' remined Satori ''And time travel sounds farfetched, but not impossible.''

''There's nothing impossible in Gensokyo, it seems.'' Said Rin. ''Anyways, maybe we shouldn't sweat it. What matters is that right now we're all fine.''

''That's true'' Both Okuu and Satori agreed.

Maybe in the future they would comptletely recover their memories of that adventure in which the very same bird who once almost turned everything into hell actually saved everyone from utter chaos and destruction. In the meantime, everything was safe, everything was fine, and they kept on with their lifes.

 **THE END**

* * *

 _Well, that was everything. I give my thanks to my readers (or maybe I should say reader, just one). This whole story was just a silly idea born from a bored mind. It was originally going to imitate the format of one of those old PC interactive fiction adventures, but then I changed my mind and decided to upload it here. It really is just a story that exists for the sake of existing. I did have fun writing, and I understand if you didn't have fun reading it, because it is pretty stupid (That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with liking it or that there's something wrong about you if you enjoyed this story, in fact, if you actually enjoyed it that's even better, entertaining others while doing what you like is great).  
_


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